Can you see!!

Tangled in lies,
He of the light,
Enduring twisted replies,

Deciding to stand and fight,
Evading all that is hurdled
from outside,
Vicious words are thrown,
Instantly I must decide,
Laboriously fighting to save
my own skin and bones,

Isolation does not stop the pain,
Seeking protection by preparing
with truth,

Inadvertently I begin to place
blame,
Not on myself, but on those of
the cloth,

My truth hangs in the balance,
Erroneously, I am lead astray,
oh, the mistakes I have made
with in me there is understanding,
like abundent sun rays.

— Eduardo Cruz, Apr 14, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...

Critiques

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 3 months ago

Julie

"your cat looks like it just swallowed Alice" I tryed to write as if i was standing outside of myself looking at the situation, trying to find reason, but I guess I failed in conveying that sense! I will make changes. The other idea is if you read the capital letters, there is where my answer is to my of myself!! thanks, Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!

Arrow

17 years 3 months ago

Great stanza!:“Isolation

Great stanza!: "Isolation does not stop the pain, Seeking protection by preparing with truth," I wonder if "Seek" wouldn't work better here as it sounds like a command (and a wise one). Great lines!: (This whole stanza is very good.) "Understanding comes from within, like an abundance of sun rays." I know I've quibbled with you before about your line breaks but I like what you've done here (esp. lines 13, 15 & 17). This is a great theme and I like the 3rd person. It makes it more universal and it is, indeed, a universal theme. This is my favorite of your poems. Good work!

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 3 months ago

Arrow,

Please quibble on, I am here to hear constructive opinions! As i said to Julie I will make the changes. Please read the capital letters, that is the second part of this poem and the answer to myself. thanks so much for your Quibbling! Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 3 months ago

Janice

thank you so much, you are to generous! I am happy that you do see!! read the capital letters, for my answer. thanks sweetie, Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

Eddie...

I too liked the third person view... I understand what Julie is saying and she is right, but like Arrow says, the third person view makes it a more universally impressive write... I read your secret capitol-line acrostic-styled part of the poem, and although I do not believe the same as you, I do think we all have the ability to do the wrong things, at the very worst of times, and for usually selfish reasons, or some might say... devilish reasons... The lines Arrow pointed out were truly great... enjoyed the read and the comments my friend... Richard

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 3 months ago

Hey Richard,

I originally wrote it in the third person, because3 I felt it pertained to all, that the devil, if there is one is inside us all, so in other words we are the creators of said "devil" thanks for the "impressive" It's always a pleasure to hear from you teacher!! Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!

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