boy of the wood

I like your poem... I thought there were a couple of spots where the flow was interrupted... I am Indian boy... I am "an or the" Indian boy I'm boy of the wood... I'm "the" boy of the wood"s" only suggestions... I too feel at home in the woods, my great-grandmother was a full-blooded Blackfoot, so I'm an all-american-mutt... good poem Richard

I like this a lot. Being part Native American I understand this well, like Richard. All American Mutt. Choctaw, Chrokee, Blackfoot and a host of other blood. *LOL* Fox is most assuredly a trickster in some ways similar to Loki in Mythology. You did a good job on this with the exceptions that Richard pointed out. Well done. Respectfully, Rett: "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905

So felt, as if you had experienced this life, taking the good and the bad as one, in a gentle little story that leaves us nodding. I've KNOWN it I'm A boy of the wood for rhythm maybe? Sweet geezer from Ann

Its awesome just like your other poems! :) Peace; ANC

Yes, the thought flow and words have come together quite nicely now... well done! The only other suggestion I could offer on this poem would be to maybe be a bit more creative with the title... just a thought though... because it is filled with great images and stands well now... Richard

Another good job, looks like you recovered it nicely.

I enjoyed your poem a lot. It reminds me of my mother. She is Japanese and she is truly down to earth. I come from her part of the back woods. Very well written. I really loved it. It reminded me of my mother. Thank you for writing something so inspiring for me. Take care and keep up the great poetry that comes from your heart and soul. That is where all your poetry comes from. Bless you and your poetry. Your Friend, Pixee

I love the story in this as you incorporate tribal care into daily life. Nice work with simple rhyme to keep things from the boy's perspective. I have a thought. One might keep the rhyme but use line breaks and spacing to emphasize natural pauses rather than the standard 4 lines per stanza blocks. It would look like a free verse poem, but the lilt of the rhyme would bring a reader into such a spiritual world, it might be worth a try. Something like this: I dream of a past life. Of an Indian boy who runs through the woods fast; heart filled with joy. Earth is his mother; father, his sky. He's known from birth the tribe does not lie. Deer are friends hides keep warmth flesh is food tents shelter storms. ******************************* Of course this is ONLY a quick example of a different style using the lines from your first three stanzas. (would need to work my example a bit more as well) But this idea could be carried out through the entire verse. But for the sake of example: Sometimes, line breaks, spacing, and brevity can provide a more intense emotional impact to a reader - and thus a more memorable verse. This one is worth remembering. (I don't know how to make indented lines work in my comment I am afraid, so the spacing format is not correct in my sample example. I indented 5 spaces before "hides", 10 spaces before "flesh" in the last lines ... sorry about that) I loved the story here and your wonderful use of imagery with the deer, the hides, full moon, healing herbs, the woods ... all of it. Truly a pleasure to read and enjoy. Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed it very much and will be reading more of your work. ~Pamela