Falling

That was fuckin killer! Well worth 3 days work! The last stanza did it for me :) <3

and it grew on me as i did. Of course i am sure that you had more than a little input into your saving but this is a touching tribute. There were a few things maybe you might consider tweaking. You describe your body as black....presumably as a result of depression, but for me the sense was that you were without a life and empty. I was therefore expecting gray or pallid or something like that...even ghost. In the lines where you say he is your Saviour i you took out "He" from the last line that would create better emphasis...i.e. Saviour followed by Saved There were also some lines you could perhaps have made more forceful and less uncomfortable. For example how about: "Regaining meaning, Life rediscovered" I thought the last verse in particular was the one you could revisit. Soaring like an eagle is rather too overused an image and it needs something less clicheed. Maybe: "I am flying lifted (or carried or transported) by your wings sheltered in your love" then the last lines: unmolested and safe (i am sure you wanted him to touch you so this felt strange) a woman reborn (or perhaps "again") embracing hope. Just suggestions as always of course. Hope they are helpful. BW Keith

No sleep yet its been wonderful for me Yet the hells i have or know I love your poem here and your comments I know you more from then your work So when I came to see who had visited and left a reaction I had to write Strange but the black I call shadow or echo from having grown up on a lake and at night we would yell and hear our voices from the black come back from the literal uknowns wilds as you may and at night when I look up I see the dark and I see the stars and I love to wear black I feel weary at times awed by beauty and flawed in weakness's I try to be a part of helping I try to leave poems of beauty just one little star sometimes makes a difference if thats where one is looking up and without that dark i guess one wouldnt see it Thank you for your insight