faerybeki

Apr 05, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Lonely

Languishing
Outside,
Nearly
Everything
Lost,
Yearning

Languishing neatly and quiet, so as not to offend
Outside, unnoticed, looking in
Nearly knocked but not quite ready
Everything still gestating, waiting
Lost, for now but growth maintaining
Yearning to be found.

— faerybeki, Apr 05, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Hi Beki,

an acrostic, interesting! Your first shot at one? I personally prefer my acrostics (I call them "charms") to be in full sentences, but nevertheless, I think you had a decent shot at it. I am working on a "hair charm" at the moment, but have only found my first two lines...Acrostics are tricky... Yours, ~Nina

faerybeki

17 years 2 months ago

Hi Nina,

I must confess to reading your books charm without ever realising it was an acrostic, so my hat off to you. I haven't attempted one since my school days probably, but do enjoy playing with form! I quite wanted to see if I could do it with just one word for each letter but still get across some feeling and a bit of story, not sure if I accopmplished it or not?! looking forward to your hair charm and loved that glimpse of 'water' I had recently, is that a tattoo pic now? your ink dragon? much love b x

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Hi Beki,

yes, the feelings are there, but I daresay you could convey them more elegantly. Just try a little harder, and it will come! I know you´ve got it in you! Yes, that is my dragon (only it was a rather bad photo, so I dabbled around with it a little). I decided to put it up in honour of my friend Kata (Proprietress of Crimson Hearts), who has written the most stunning poem for me. Water will be back soon. Love, ~Nina

faerybeki

17 years 2 months ago

Hey Nina, I tried a little

Hey Nina, I tried a little harder but still feel it could be better! Be interested to know what you make of it. Must just say again how much I enjoyed yours and Kata's poems for each other, really beautiful. Much love b xx

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Beki,

it reads much better already! I´ll try and think of further possibilities for improvement and get back to you later. Yours, ~Nina “Like plumbers and dentists, poets are fallible, and the possibility of genuine nonsense cannot be ruled out.” (Mark Haddon)

Cloudthings

17 years 2 months ago

Lovely, but sad - Thinking lovely belongingness to you

Hi girl, lovely, but sad... Very clever my friend. I do hope you are not feeling so lonely generally... sending lots of love & warmth your way, it's holidays here & Autumn is relatively warm, though with occassional bursts of thunderstorms & badly needed rain.. Everyone is much more jolly & it's a lovely time of catching up & enjoying each other... shame you are not closer, we could go & have a beautiful adventure, maybe play at mermaids at the Ottways or near Wilson's Prom. (where my lovely huge rock pic was taken). Take care dear one... Thinking lovely belongingness to you. xxx Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."

faerybeki

17 years 2 months ago

Hey Anni, thanks for

Hey Anni, thanks for stopping by, always great to see you! I guess I'm not lonely generally, just recently. Like I said to Nina was playing with form a bit but I suppose the word I chose may say something of the state of my own heart. My Omi has been off colour recently and not sleeping well (maybe her teeth, but lots of sick last night) I'm sooo tired and do feel the loneliness more, I think when she's poorly. Lovely to hear it's Autumn there, it's always been my favourite season here :) so glad you are enjoying it! Ah, if only we lived closer indeed, I do like the sound of a beautiful adventure, is it Native American tradition where otters symbolise joy? so fitting for such playful creatures and fitting to be reminded of them now when playfulness seems to be escaping from me! :) Thank you so much for sending lovely belongingness, it is very much appreciated and warmly accepted. It is this place and you neopoets, that amplify any sense of belonging I do have, and assuage any loneliness I may experience! I remain extremely grateful! :) I loved your new post Anni, that got the otters on my mind, and Ottways just brought them back! I'm going to read it again when I'm all caught up! :) Maybe you could play for the both of us while I'm 'languishing' ;) ? Much love b xxx

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Never do these myself

Beki but they are clearly an addictive exercise in pithy wordcraft. If i just take your long version, relatively speaking, i like it... although i think we all view these acrostics as a challenge to sharpen our own skills on so hoping you dont mind this is how is was for me lol: Languishing silent, so not to offend Outside, unnoticed, trying to blend Nearly speaking out, but not quite ready, Everything on hold but still unsteady Lost until a changeling can be found Yearning escape from neglect underground BW Keith x

faerybeki

17 years 2 months ago

I don’t mind at all :) but

I don't mind at all :) but think maybe you should do them more often Keith, I like yours better than mine! lol. Thankyou for reading and taking time to comment and for the BWs (I'm reading bouncey waves :) hope that's ok?!) much love b x

paparazii

17 years 1 month ago

Lonely

The picture you've reflected here is sad, it's like an egg pressed in a shell and fighting to crack open. Even though it's small (poem) it really reflects the nature and the soliloquy of a lonely soul. Luv n light

faerybeki

17 years ago

Hello Pap, nearly missed

Hello Pap, nearly missed your comment here and want to thank you for it :) I like the image of the egg trying to break out of it's shell, I have felt a bit like that to be honest but believe I might just be starting to hatch, lol. Much love to you dear shanwari x