Forbearing Friendship

How is it
That I cannot escape you?
Even after I had fallen
So far from my pedestal
You had managed to put me on.

Your fallen queen
Brought down in battle,
Taken hostage by her own desires
Rebelling against all you stood for.

This Jezebel that I am,
I have managed to still hear
All that is good and right
Continually summoning me home,
And my thoughts returned to you.

My fall had confused you,
Caused you to question
Things that had been
So sturdy and sound before,
As if the ground had given way,
And you were trying to understand

How something...

you trusted so completely...

could fail you.

For you knew my heart,
Which seemed to be akin to David's;
Tender towards God
Fervently serving Him,
But then one day turned cold
Due to my selfishness.

I have fought my battles
On a spiritual plane,
And I now find myself in a vast desert;
As if I'm experiencing,
What Moses had been through,
While I wonder what the purpose of all of this is,
For I still haven't found that burning bush.

So now - as crippled Jacob,
I come to you
Seeking solace for my soul,
In your kindness
You do not turn me away.

And your patience with me...

leaves me amazed.