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Seren

Apr 04, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Last Masterpiece

She flowed out of his sable brush
As if form became fluid
Indigo blue the first of hues
Each stroke a caress

A teardrop sliding down his face
His memories piercing his heart
Sighs and a deep breath
His lifetime masterpiece awaits

Silver lit hair black as night
Her Indigo eyes abrim with love
Soft white skin transparent
A white spotted dress of cornflower blue
silk trimmed waist
Forever imprinted in Memory
A testament to their Love

Raising his hand wrinkled through time
the curve of her breast takes shape
her form follows next

Pausing for thought ,
he remembers a day etched fast in his mind
Around her head ,
Mists of water rainbow hues
Behind her a waterfall of crystal blue
Shadow and shape suggest beings
The faeries she hoarded
Dancing like angels around her head
These he added as she would be pleased

His hand starts to shake
effort and time taking its toll
mad with mother time
robbing him of his one great gift
this would be his last

Pouring 50 years of marriage
His heart and soul
Smeared , brushed , and smudged
Light and dark no dischord
Finished he is complete
His one great masterpiece
His wife his love

Packing away his palette
an artisan to his gift
closing the lid on colour
washing his brushes
and cleaning knives
Weathered hands tremble
Reaching for a glass
The bottle , a sherry he saved ,
from a golden anniversary
their last

Taking a sip he closes his eyes
waiting for memory to carry him back
To a time be-loved

— Seren, Apr 04, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

17 years 2 months ago

Another beautiful poem JayC

Increasingly rare to see examples of undying absolute love expressed over 50 years or more but you are right that such love is awe inspiring and the aging body does not change the way they see each other.There were just a couple of things that did not work so well for me. The first is your use of "cerebellum" which is the locomotor and co-ordination part of the brain at the back under the cerebrum. Not sure what you were intending but as a neuroscientist it did not really mak sense to me lol. He'd be using his frontal and temporal lobes in the brain cortex to remember her and the way she made him feel lol. The only other thing was the repetition of rainbow hues in the last line. I suppose i was expecting something new as a finale. Great poem though. All the best Keith

17 years 2 months ago

Keith

LOL there was more to the poem but I shaved it off thought I might loose people's atention .... cerebrum !!!! thank you for the correction ill fix that now .. Glad you enjoyed it Sincerely JayC

17 years 2 months ago

For you the ending you expected LOL

Here is what i left out before I submitted the poem , hope you like this ending better :) Sincerely JayC x x

17 years 2 months ago

Endings

Hi JayC yes i like the last verse but the one before it is rather broken up and does not flow as well as the others. I imagined something more like: Packing away his palette the artisan of his gift he shuffles slowly home and settling into memory unstops the amber sherry, drinking sipped reminders of a golden anniversay their last … sorry got a little carried away lol. Its a poignant image and one i can see in vivid detail. Hope you dont mind? BW Keith x

17 years 2 months ago

Puzzled

LOL posted comment here a while ago maybe i didnt post it properly :S ... Keith your right (as usual) ...I cant steal whole stanzas but you have given me inspiration ... Thanks ... Now you know why i left the last two stanza's out LOL alwaya a pleasure JayC x x

B

17 years 2 months ago

Jay-nee

Yet another awesome poem! At first I thought you were writing about you and snake quickly realised it wasn't hehe I liked this one hey! <3

17 years 2 months ago

LOL You ratbag

OI I aint that old yet brother .... Want me to tell snake you think hes a wrinkly lmao !!!!! near wetting myself here ... hhahahahahaha ..... seriously though I'm so glad you enjoyed It hun your opinion meens alot to me ... your my friend you'll tell me when its a piece of shit poem :) LOL Mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh luvluv JayC x x

17 years 2 months ago

Yes, I agree, good read,

Yes, I agree, good read, well done, some lovely lines here. Cheers Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."

17 years 2 months ago

Anni

Thank you so much I am really glad you enjoyed reading it .... Off to read some of your work ... :) Sincerely JayC x

17 years 2 months ago

One of the saddest realities

One of the saddest realities I face is that my x and I have grown (older ;-) apart from one another. I always thought I'd find lasting love as in the movie, *The Notebook*, we would die together. But then again, I'm a hopeless romantic and there is no cure. Loved your poem, JayC, I am, however, still a struggling painter, unable to find the right shade of *blue*. lol. ~A "We have to try to get rid of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal." Paulo Coelho

17 years 2 months ago

~A

Ahhhhhhh "The Notebook" that movie is one of my fav's their story is so poignant and beautiful ... To be loved the way he loved her "sigh" ... I am hopeless romantic as well ... And time catches up with us all ... Love awaits you stop looking it will find you again when you least expect it and you have to "believe". Love and Light JayC x x

O

orgami

17 years 2 months ago

Older we become from youths still burning memory

Luckily I have found my love and far from twenty but still away from eighty found a new band two days past called "White Lies" they do a song for David Lynchs movie a line from it is thus "Let's grow old together..And die at the same time" when I was a child many men and women were married for years in this country setting and when sometimes one passed it wasnt long the other too went and sometimes as in my fathers case he passed like my mother early and both partners lived long afterwards A great write and poignant poem to our Baby boomers or older

17 years 2 months ago

Orgami

I am the same I found my Love and we have been happily together now for nine years ...In rural Australia (where i live)there are still many couples that have been together for 50 or more years its a beautiful sight ... This poem was inspired by an old couple I spotted whilst out shopping , they where around there late 80's early 90's he was helping her into a taxi and the look of love and adoration was amazing it touched my heart ... I just hope If ever i get that old i have someone to love me the way that gentlman loves his wife ... Thanks for taking the time to read my little scribble , glad you enjoyed it ... Sincerely JayC x

17 years 2 months ago

JayC...

This is a very real look into lasting love... Love can never be forgotten it can only die with the barer and those that witness are forever enriched seeking longing for that one-of-a-kind... a lovely poem! there were a couple of spots that seemed to perhaps be not the right choice of words... if I may... stoke... perhaps stroke piecing... maybe piercing and I thought the professor was right on with frontal lobe... it would fit nicely there. in the last stanza... dream... maybe dreams and the last line... instead of time, maybe his... only suggestions... I love the engaging way this was written... the oh-so-easy-to-see of it... lovely write JayC Richard

17 years 2 months ago

Richard

I was blessed to have known my grandparents on my mothers side till just the last few years when they both passed away , they where one month off being married for 60 years when my nana passed ... It was funny at times to see them playing with each other and after all those years they still had laughter in their lives it was a true joy .... Yes I witnessed that type of love It was beautiful , funny (at times) lol And when my nana passed there was a apark that was in my pa's eyes that seemed to disappear ...heartbreaking to watch as there is nothing you can really do to take their pain away ... Pa' passed away a few years after nan ... For him it was going home as he called it ... So glad you enjoyed my scribble and thanks for picking up my couple of typos LOL after a few reads i didnt pick them up sometimes when you have four kids and hubby want , want , wanting lmao I do miss little things like that ... thanks again Sincerely JayC x

SJ

Shonna James

17 years 2 months ago

Thankyou for a beautiful dedication to eternal love

I loved this poem, it immediately gave me visions of my own granparents (my Nan & Poe). They were married 55years when they both passed away in a car accident in 2000. This was obviously a tragic loss for my family but we draw some sort of comfort that they "went home together". They were and still are such an inspiration to me. xxsjxx

17 years 2 months ago

Im glad

that my ittle scribble touched you ... It was writen with my grandparents in mind ... I am so sorry to hear of your loss it never is easy ... But i like to think that in remembering we honor them .. and while they are remembered they are truely never lost they live forever in our memories ... that helps me deal with the loss in a small way ... Love and Light JayC By the way i noticed your from sydney im about 3 and a half hours north of you on the mid north coast my real name is jayne-chloe :) x x x

17 years 1 month ago

Just had to come back to

Just had to come back to this mmm, these first two stanzas just totally seduce me, deliceous, wonderful... love it. So well done. Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."

17 years 1 month ago

Thats

The nicest thing anyone could say Anni thank you so much , though compared to your work mine are but scribbles , Have been reading though your work and i love it .. Love and light JayC hope your having a lovely Easter break

17 years 1 month ago

No way JayC, there is no comparison.

No way JayC, there is no comparison honey. This is lovely work, (but thank you thats very kind as well). More of this poetry please. Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."

17 years 1 month ago

Thanks anyway Anni im so

Thanks anyway Anni im so glad you like it .. This , the essence of this , belongs to the gentleman who inspired it .. Love and light JayC

SJ

Shonna James

17 years 1 month ago

Cos I love it.

I've been back to read again, but had to comment again. cos...

17 years 1 month ago

lmao

you funny bugger !!! you just cheered me up after my shocker of a week thankies Love and light JayC x x

17 years 1 month ago

JayC

I think one of the most quaint things seen to date are older couples that still walk about hand in hand. I hope that Jon and I are like that when we age. Still laughing at the 'ratbag' comment for Boss.... too funny! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Just because you have one, doesn't mean you need to be one..." Doin' a March of Dimes walk 4/26 : http://www.marchforbabies.org/jnj7880

17 years 1 month ago

Jess

I hope that we all can find that little slice of happiness in our old age Jess ... LOL Boss is me darlin hes one of my favourite people on the face of the planet hes an extended part of my family of which i am forever thankful ... and he is a ratbag but a much loved one :)LOL Love and Light JayC x

17 years 1 month ago

Never sated with nearly good

Never sated with nearly good enough I want to try and tweak this till i get it perfect it speaks from my heart .. hope the changes , though small , are an improvement Love and best wishes JayC x x x

17 years 1 month ago

JayC

this was like reading of my wife and I, that is how I feel after 41yrs., she will forever be young a beautiful in my mind. You have capture the true feeling of love here! The essence of the term love is blind. Great write!! thanks, Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!

17 years 1 month ago

Eddie

I am so glad you enjoyed this poem ... It was an emotional write from the start...What a lucky woman your wife is ! and im sure she feels the same about you ... Hope springs eternal for me when I see two people in love like that ... I wish you many happy years together ... And im honored you think its worth five ... Love and Light JayC x

16 years 10 months ago

Jayne

The first two stanzas are poetry in motion and they set up the poem. A bitter sweet write, one that I am beginning to relate to. You expressed the sentiment of growing old and mixed it with the yearning. One thing, I think that the words: Light and dark no dis chord dis cord should be one word (discord) Love, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Thank you for the read cat I

Thank you for the read cat I am so glad you liked it ... now dis cord is pissing me off I have been trying to change it from day one and for some reason it wont change so I gave up LOL Big hug and Love Jayne x x

F

floetry

16 years 10 months ago

A knock out

I really love the poem, it unleashes a side so very sincere to a person with good humour and grat compassion. Keep up the great work coz its quiet extraordinaire!

16 years 10 months ago

Floetry ...

Thank you so much for your lovely compliemt :) and your read this is probably my favourite poem its not everyones favourite but it is mine .... Just love the thought of these two old people ... love Jayne x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 10 months ago

Seren

There is no better art shop than marriage; every stroke counts towards perfection. The thing is, very few would like to stay to be really "finished" --pun intended. Real masterpieces are the ones who had been under the anvil more often than they've wished to be. As my father used to say: "My son, you'll suffer, but you'll learn a lot in the end." He's still right. Thank you Seren for bringing up the subject, it's one of my favorites. Best Regards, Hugo.

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Hugo

Thank you for the read and the comment ... this one had been under the hammer that many times I am surprised theres anything left of it LOL .... But i can truely say I wont be updating this one again ... the title was the last hurdle ... I am happy its as it was ... I am glad you liked this one its my favourite only because of how it come about ... Love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...