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People Keep Askin'

"Excuse me Mr Cliche
Have you been told the news today?
Your father has to leave the house
But hey, your mother, she can stay."

Pain forthwith, I'm quite affected
But you'll never see me cry.

"Excuse me Mr. Asphalt
Have you been told that its all your fault
...oh! Only by the voices in your head? Pffft
Young man, try to keep afloat"

Awkward Forthwith, I'm still stirred
But you won't see me flinch,

"Excuse me Mr. Mirth(!)
Have you been told your worth?
You keep standing up, flinging righteous damnation
But what's your purpose on this earth?"

Fury forthwith, I am angered
But you'll never hear my screams.
— Bosscombat, Apr 03, 2009

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infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 2 months ago

Interesting

The rhymes are unique, in that they aren't what some people would automatically choose as first choice. Well done. I like how the two sentence structure breaks up the stanzas. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"The truth is, it doesn't matter what you do. 'Til you gaze in that mirror with an eye that's true. And admit that what scares you is the me in you..." - Steve Earle
B

Bosscombat

17 years 2 months ago

hey Jess!

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I kinda thought the rhymes were a little....obvious. I guess that's the novice poet in me. Anyway Thanks again :) Bosscombat
Seren

Seren

17 years 2 months ago

Matty

Jess is right Matty ... You always have walked to your own beat ... Why shouldnt that follow in your poems ...Thats what makes you well you !!! Your work is getting better with every poem you put in ... Loved this one though i feel that there a little of your story in this ?? This one feels more personal ... Luvluv JayC x x
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Bosscombat

17 years 2 months ago

Hey Jay-nee

Thanks hun! And yeah it is a little personal...had to swallow my pride a little. Im glad you like it! <3