DIMINISHING LIGHT

I love some of the rhythm and language you've used here - the first line has a lovely dactylic metre (that's one stressed syllable followed by two unstressed), and great use of "r" sound alliteration/consonance. This linguistic skill carries on through the poem. I have (as always) a couple of punctuation points. Firstly, an ellipsis, "...", stands on its own, and should not be followed by a full stop. Secondly, it generally looks wrong to place multiple ellipses in a row, especially with full stops after them. If I may hazard a little repunctuation, here is a suggestion: "As the contrasts of dark and light - meet painfully - in the shades of an emotional clash." This is the kind of place where you can experiment a lot, using different kinds of punctuation, and formatting. Try varying the line breaks, the indentation, everything, and see what works. There is a lot of promise here, keep it up! Nathaniel Radcliffe.

really thought you had the joy of spring in your write,until i came to "sorrowing ears"! however, it says what it says, and i just wish that it had continued on the path it started. as for purpose, you will find that it is what it is. you have the potential for lifting spirits with your words. you wrote so beautifully about dreams, dancing, and laughter. let this spirit fly! happiness is a matter of perspective. gee