professor

Mar 29, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Supermarket love

I’m smitten with a churlish maid thinks "Waitrose" better than getting laid, who spurns an orgasm's shuddered thrill for a night out at the check-out till. An encounter with the fruit and veg preferred to reaching passion's edge. How can i know if meat’s her dish? I could be beef and she’d want fish! Or if i was her shrimp terrine her eyes might be for langustine. Do steaming options make her boil, or does she fry with olive oil? I'd lure her to the dairy aisle if gold-top milk would her beguile.

So how to beat a trolley dash? No discount even for paying cash! I’ll have to join the retail trade if all my hope’s not doomed to fade. Then I can use my bargain voice.... and tempt her with the manager’s choice!

— professor, Mar 29, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: China/Sichuan/Chengdu, CHN

Favorite Poets: Yeats, Elliot, Auden, Keats, Shelley, Byron

Critiques

Seren

17 years 2 months ago

LOL

Certainly is a bit of fun .... Loved it ... Made me smile from start to finish ... Sincerely Jayne-Chloe

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks as always Jayne-Chloe

I realise we tend to overlap on this site, your evening to my morning i guess. Not sure what the Aussie equivalent of Waitrose would be lol. Some ladies who "lunch" do seem to get especially passionate about Supermarkets is all i can say. All the best Keith

Seren

17 years 2 months ago

Your Welcome

Yes !! lol I had noticed we overlapped I'm a night bird so when your on in the daytime your sure to see me flitting about LOL Im going to have to think if we have an equivelant to your waitrose (though I've heard the term before) .. hahaha I'll get back to you on that one ... OHhhhh and supermarkets the only good thing about them is they sell stuff i need lmao :D Always a pleasure Jayne-Chloe

themoonman

17 years 2 months ago

Waitrose...

I was about to look it up... loved this flavor of humor and rhyme from you Keith... enjoyed the read! Richard

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks Richard

just a bit of fun for a dull Sunday morning with the prospect of a supermarket trip looming. BW Keith

Arrow

17 years 2 months ago

:)

Well, it takes all kinds (thank goodness!). I enjoyed this a lot. Life can be made so funny! Do you know Bernstein's "I Can Cook, Too"? Try that as your mating call.

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks Arrow

And yes i can cook pretty well too....even iron lol. So was it something like: "Perhaps i'd better lower my sights and serve her culinary delights"? Keith

Rett

17 years 2 months ago

ROFL Now THAT's a good mood

Oh God, I can think of a hundred other lines to go with this. *ROTFLMAO* I needed this Professor. As an uncle of mine used to say, "Sometimes you just have to say, what the hell, I'll laugh today!" Respectfully, Rett: "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905

professor

17 years 2 months ago

My pleasure Rett

and yes i am sure you could come up with another hundred lines in the same vein lol. All the best Keith

Kailashana

17 years 2 months ago

Oh…..such bawdy language

Oh.....such bawdy language you speak, my dear Professor of the tasty leek. ;-) "We have to try to get rid of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal." Paulo Coelho

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Anna dear

"If i were Welsh (leeks) i might agree But i'm an Englishman you see. The Bawdy Bard was one of us And he could surely swear and cuss A master of double-entendre he Oft turned his quill to ribaldry" Not so serious Sunday lol Keith

Kailashana

17 years 2 months ago

Well, I’m having a crisis

Well, I'm having a crisis of identity, thanks to you and Jess for a much needed respite from all my doom and gloom on a Sunday afternoon. Sad smiles. ~A "We have to try to get rid of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal." Paulo Coelho

faerybeki

17 years 2 months ago

Great fun Keith, if I could

Great fun Keith, if I could afford to shop in Waitrsoe it might be better than getting laid, as it is I don't seem to get to do either, lol! :) I've read a couple of your poems now, and I love this other worldly, echoes of the past feeling I get from them, and your writing style, even a looming trip to the supermarket is tinged with romanticism! wonderful stuff. much love b x

professor

17 years 2 months ago

I hope you manage to resist the lure of Waitrose

Beki should your finances ever allow lol. A bit of rough down at Asda, Aldi or Tesco might be possible though i guess. Hope much better non-retail associated experiences come your way though. I am unashamedly a Romantic poet of the old school it is true although i do use other more modern styles as well. Keith x

Janice Pearce

17 years 2 months ago

Supermarket love

Thanks for a poem on "The lighter side" we certainly need these once in a while, Keith! Loved it! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Glad you enjoyed it Janice

Yes its fun to write in lighter vein from time to time I have to admit lol. BW Keith

Rob Graber

17 years 2 months ago

Well, your “churlish

Well, your "churlish maid" does have her priorities right, evolutionarily speaking: to reproduce, you must first survive; and that takes eating, doesn't it? But grocery shopping (and consuming the goods) to the EXCLUSION of sex would be an evolutionary deadend! Good luck with your new career in the food-retail industry; hope you "manage" to steer her attention to subjects spicier and juicier than anything she can find in your store's aisles... ;-,? Rob

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Alas very much a past love

this one Rob so i was spared joining the food retail profession although currently i would be better considering the lingeree side of the equation. So yes spicier! lol

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Fantastic, I LOVE this,

Fantastic, I LOVE this, think I am developing a crush on your poetic stylings, the playful & passionate... perhaps I should not read any further! Bit sad isn't it, almost as sad as developing a crush on a stupidmarket check out chick!!! Ahh the passions of a poet, touched by such bizarre inspirations of the heart... sigh. Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

professor

17 years 1 month ago

This one was a bit of fun

as was the lady who inspired it a few years ago....and yes she could be enticed beyond the heady delights of succulent aubergine and prime best fillet thankfully lol. The passions of a poet are indeed bizarre at times but never dull. Keith

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

Its all in the lighting and that low music

all the soft-porn sell of products glistening under lighting well the patrons bending for their meat bright lighting magic interests swell theres no hiding in the aisle pass by close the eye inviting cant help but judge the wife to man or sex to sex its human and media understands sensual fruit to feel and touch in fine stores perfection no on sale mush the check out staff so pretty and pert in betters stores with shirt and skirt the sexy plastic bags they give have many lives oops run out of rhymne Great fun Poem Professor!! five stars

professor

17 years 1 month ago

I see you are indeed a supermarket

efficionado Orgami. So you noticed the check out staff dress in more alluring and fashionable garb in the up-market emporiums then lol. There is also free wine tasting and nibbles and designer bags for life! Ty for your poetic appreciation as always