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The Candle's Wax

As I sit here watching the tiny tongue of flame danceing
in the darkness. It seems to be standing up and wanting
my attention. I turn my head to contemplate on what its
desireing my attention. as I listen intently, I can hear
what I see the candle is claiming. Asking me to
understand the meaning of what the candle's wax is
addressing. Behold its thawing ways, I can see the outpouring
of tears trickling down its sides. The candle's wax is defosting
with the softening touch of a snow flake.

As the flame slowly melts itself from my keeping, the tears
steam down pooling at my pedestal. I now seem to be in a
trance, a very serene state of subconsciousness. Dreams
are swaying through my rationality. The candle is half itself,
the tiny fire's tip tickling the air in which it burns. The wick is
blackend and shortens as it too, melts away. I'm seeing things
I never thought of before. Life in grand brilliant colors I have
never seen, like a kaleidoscope.

The candle's wax is bleeding more vigorously. My dreams are
 intensifying, as the murky red candle's wax hypnotic ways,
has captured my soul. Dreaming has metamorphased into
fantasy. The pedestal is coated thickly now. I am in a place
that cannot be made up. the radiance of the colors are remarkable.
The little flame is sstill glowing a pleasurable yellow and aqua color.
The candle's wax and wick are nearly exstinguished. I am returning
to my room from which I started. this candle's wax has accomplished
what it set out to do. Capture me so it would not die alone. Flameing
no more, it is time for us to go to sleep now. Both feeling at peace,
we part until next time.

Good Night To You All!








































— Pixee, Mar 27, 2009

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Critiques

S

SJ64

17 years 2 months ago

i like the poem i kept

i like the poem i kept trying to find a rythem with it and every time i thought i was picking up on it it changed. If thats what you had been going for you got it with me. i love this style of message
Pixee

Pixee

17 years 2 months ago

Dear SJ64

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem. I was beginning to think no one was going to remark on it. I thought it was my best so far. It may be quite long, but I couldn't stop. The candle would not let me go. I appreciate your time. You got the whole Idea of the poem. Thank you for your time. Please feel free to critic my other poems, I could use the encouragement or tell me what is wrong so I can improve on my poetry and post even more. Right now I'm having a writers block. Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I have been in and out of the hospital for about a year now. No one knows what is wrong with me yet. Thank you again for your time. May God bless you and your poetry. Your Friend, Pixee
Geezer

Geezer

17 years 2 months ago

wax read on tinks' chat

some tech errors and a couple spelling, but really enjoyed it! with a little work and something to enhance the mood [beverages,hallegenics or some such,]it could be a very enjoyable evening!
Pixee

Pixee

17 years 2 months ago

Dear Geeze ron

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my long poem. The candle would not let me stop until it went out to sleep with me. There was not really any motion to the poem. I let the candle do what it wanted to say and do. It worked out. Just a bit long, but the candle had me in a trance I couldn't get out of. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on it. I have a few more poem, please feel free to comment on any of the good or bad remarks. It will help me improve and write more and post better poem. Your Friend, Pixee
S

sha_onarainyday

17 years 2 months ago

i think you should mention

i think you should mention the color of the wax and flame at the beginning of the poem, so the reader has a good image of the blood red wax melting. this is more in prose form than poetry.
Pixee

Pixee

17 years 2 months ago

Dear sha_ona rainyday

Thank you for reading my prose. I didn't put the color of the wax to soon. I guess it was the suspense of it. I got caught up in the candle's hypnotic way. Staring at the candle had me. I kept the color of the candle a secret on purpose. The suspense of it. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to write back. I have been sick in and out of the hospital since last year. I posted poems in between stays. I wrote while I was all tubed up. Not to be for a sick person. I thank you again for taking the time to read and comment on my prose. I hope my next poem or prose would come out better. Please feel free to comment on my other poems to help me get better in my poetry. Good or bad response would do me well either way. I want to write like everyone else. I do try,though. Your Friend, Pixee
Pixee

Pixee

17 years 1 month ago

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply

I thank you for your critiqueing my poem. Anything anyone says keeps me from doing the same mistake twice. Thank you for 4 stars. I am slowly but surely getting there. I am going thru my dashboard and trying to reply to everyone on all my poems, that will take some time. Thank you again my friend. With Love, Pixee
Seren

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

I am NO critic but i liked

I am NO critic but i liked this .. lovely write with a little work its a good poem .. look forward to reading updates Love and Light JayC x x
Pixee

Pixee

16 years 12 months ago

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply

Seren, I am sorry it has taken me oh so long to reply to you. I try to go thru my dashboard everyday or at least try too. I appreciate you critiqueing my poem. I think this was one of my best poem or prose, which ever I have written so far. I am getting better with each poem and everyone critiqueing them. It makes me a stronger writer. Thank you for taking the time to read and critique it. Coming from a great writer like you means a lot to me. Take care and I'll read you around the chat. Peace and Prayers, Pixee
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Candle Wax

Pexee I love to see the living flame dance from dull glowing embers listening to them crackle as the flames dance to their own melody the flame does call out our name in the night shadows We are drawn like moths the flame they cannot be denied it beckons us we are hypnotized by the candle lit by a bright yellow flame watch it grow see waxed teardrops Slither and slide Silently down as gravity pulls each tear one by one do they not gently fall The flame simmers shimmers smolders as it slowly burns creating such magic creating long shadows of the night too Dance till life spent All flames I am drawn to even the fire that ignites my heart the creation of me began the spark of life like lightning strikes only to react Like the birth of a new universe or galaxy shines another Hales comet created feel the heat of the living flame dance they do so soft and smooth Ohoooooooooo I just love this image again I got carried away with the flow another poem set all aglow Electric blue