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Mike5242
Mar 25, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

She said she would !

I know you thought i wasn't trying
best thing was we weren't fighting
it was once this way before
our spirits lifted began to soar
 
straight Out of the blue
a romantic date for two
Pizza and some Wine
fovourite Ale of mine
 
She told me she would
told me that i could
She fell in love with me again
something special nothing plain
 
It is a new beginning not just a start
times will be tough while we are apart
I love you deeply within my soul
without you all there'd be is a hole
 
promises will be made
two rings to trade
this poem written to make you smile
even if only for a little while
— Mike5242, Mar 25, 2009

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mdehe

17 years 2 months ago

poem good

but you need to learn better use of vocabulary and use of more then one syllable words to rhyme
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Mike5242

17 years 2 months ago

Ok don't get me wrong here...

But i can't very well accept what you've said unless you have read all my work and as you have one "so called" poem posted with no style or format nor rhythm also some of your rhyming Multiple syllable words are made up. please don't take offense I kind of did so I had to let you know. Thanks for reading the poem anyways bud read yours too obviously. 'Cropping the Equarium' - mattyd207
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years 2 months ago

Hey Mike, there is a lovely

Hey Mike, there is a lovely naivety to this piece, emphasised by your language use. I like it. Poetry is so subjective and can take so many forms, there is also the question of taste, i guess, different poems for different folk but room for them all. Wild, rambling streams of consciousness,neat little haikus or acrostics, perfectly metered rhyming couplets, sonnets and freeform, free thinking philosophy! Got to say I love it all! :) Anyway I'm rambling now, back to your poem Mike, and your title I am so happy for you and guess congratulations are in order eh? ;) much love b x
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mdehe

17 years 2 months ago

haha

chill bro learn to take criticism. I only have one up because I just got this yesterday and It only allows me to add one per day. I will be adding one everyday.