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Wafi
Mar 27, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Desires Suppressed.

The deep-rooted grass
Sprouts on my heart's surface
Soon, I sickle it

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A

Arrow

17 years 1 month ago

A fruitless behavior

but an excellent poem. I might have punctuated it a little differently. The deep-rooted grass Sprouts on my heart’s surface() Soon(,) I sickle It() Is "It" capitalized on purpose? Really, this needs no changes of substance.
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Thanks You So Much Arrow!

Thank you so much Arrow, my friend. I appreciate your suggestions greately. "It" was'nt capatlized on purpose. So glad it got your attention. Sincerely, Wafi
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Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Wafi,

I always love your short Japanese ones, you do them so well! This is a really clever write, loved the twist in its tail (Ann-inspired?). And the "deep-rooted" indicating that all your sickling will not stop it from growing! Great! Yours, ~Nina
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Nina

Thanks a lot my friend, for reading and commenting on it. I appreciate your thoughts so much. "loved the twist in its tail (Ann-inspired?). " sorry I couldnt understand this, can you please elucidate? Sincerely, Wafi
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Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Hi Wafi,

I think you had some conversations with Ann about how a Japanese poem should work? That it will often have a little surprise in the final line? Does that make it clearer? Yours, ~Nina
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Yeah Nina

Yeah Nina, I got it. Ann is a wonderful lady, I learnt a lot from her regarding Japanese poems. And ofcourse it helped me much in improving my Haiko. Thanks for stopping by, Nina, your comments give me joy and inspiraiton. And congratulations on the AEC :) Sincerely, Wafi
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Janice

Thank you so much, my friend, for taking the time to read and comment. I always appreciate your loving comments on my poems. So glad you liked it. Sincerely, Wafi
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Wafi...

I am a huge fan of few words with deep-felt meanings... and with that being said I have no suggestions, just appreciation... well done! Richard
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Richard

Thank you so much, My friend, for reading and commenting. M so glad and encouraged to see your comment. My pleasure you appreciated it. Sincerely, Wafi
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

17 years 1 month ago

I liked this one too

Yes you did it this time Wafi. I have no suggestions for changing it at all. and just now I see that there are others of the same mind. Good show. Yours Ann of Norway
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Ann, My Friend

Ann, My Friend, thanks a lot for taking the time to read and comment on it. I appreciate your thoughts very much. My pleasure it got your attention. Sincerely, Wafi
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 1 month ago

Wafi

Nicely done! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Janice

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. Your thoughts always appreciated :) Sincerely, Wafi
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

so much in those few words

Oooh this is really interesting, so much in those few words, so much in the imagery & the sense of it. I like this a lot Wafi. Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."
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Wafi

17 years 1 month ago

Ann

Ann, thanks a lot my friend. I appreciate your sweet and praising words so much. So glad you liked it :) Sincerely, Wafi
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

17 years ago

Trying to vote you 5

Hi Wafi, I am having the same trouble I encountered just recently where I can't seem to put a vote in now because I didn't vote before I posted a comment, Nina says it might work if I wrote a new comment, fingers crossed then, I feel this is worth a 5 Wafi. Love it. Cheers Anni Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

17 years ago

Ah there, might work now!

Just trying to vote you Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."
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Wafi

17 years ago

Hi Anni

Hi Anni, how are you doing? Hope everything is fine with you. Sorry for the late reply, I am a little busy now a days with my exam preps. will soon be back. Thank you so much for your generous appreciation of my poetry. So glad you like it. Love, Wafi
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leoshelton

17 years ago

Love this one!

Deep, conscise, brilliant! Thanks for sharing it. Leo
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Wafi

17 years ago

Hi Leo

Hi Leo, Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, and yeah for rating my poem. I am encouraged. So glad it could get your attention. Looking forward to reading your work soon. Sincerely, Wafi
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Wafi

17 years ago

Welcome

Forgot to welcome you to this wonderful world of poets. Hope you will enjoy the company of poets here, like I do ;) Sincerely, Wafi