Spin

My own personal spin, where should I begin,
  all the things I did, that I would never do again.
 
Choosing myself last, blackening my past,
  forever reflected through my looking glass.  
 
A chance choice, a belittling harsh voice,
  such small motivation to learn and rejoice.
 
Simple meaning, it didn't feel demeaning,
  if only I had not wasted my time scheming.
 
Have I found change, do all my flaws remain,
  will I see reason to forgive myself for the pain?
 
Is forgiveness meek, is it wrong for me to seek,
  will it always hang on trying to make me weak?
 
My guilt is now familiar, my vision is a blur,
  sending all my feelings for a slow and wild stir.
 
I own my regrets, not to bid on an unsure bet's,
   knowing my own high standard's have yet to be met.
 
 
Julie
 
D.D.
 
3/20/2009