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A nightly recursion

 

 

 

night after night
always the same

but with different faces

and different voices

but always

trapped

 

dripping water

cold and wet and dark

with flashlights dimming

yellowed light 

searching through 

the blackness

and no way out


— Edevold, Mar 20, 2009

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

A

Arrow

17 years 2 months ago

I'm terrible with titles, but

this poem seems to be less about the cave itself and more about the people in relation to the cave so maybe something like "Caving"? There's some good uses of language here, notably the use of repetition in line 3 to enhance the idea of repetition and the short drips of the words in line 7. I could have done without the first stanza, which strikes me as a little self-pitying. I think the poem would be stronger without it.