Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Seren
Seren
Mar 20, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Souls Torment

Deleted
— Seren, Mar 20, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

professor

professor

17 years 2 months ago

Im sorry no one else found this yet

It is a real romantic, lyrical ballad that i could almost sing immediately. There are a couple of lines that for me dont work so well in the first verse: They make me feel small , i wish i could call Id get you to help me , I’m climbing the walls perhaps They make me feel small and wish i could call So that you'd help me stop climbing the wall Just a suggestion. Thats a beautiful name you have by the way Jayne-Chloe All the best Keith
Seren

Seren

17 years 2 months ago

Keith :)

Thank you thats the best compliment anyone could give me ... As singing teacher Ive lived for the beat and I find it hard not to write poetry that way... Hahaha my name I think I may be the only Jayne-Chloe only the face of the earth as ive never met anyone else with my name... My dad picked the jayne and chloe is after my mum ... Youve really made me think about those two lines ill work on them over the next lil bit and see what I cant come up with to fix those two bits up.... Sincerely Jayne-Chloe