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S

SAKTHEEE2007

Mar 17, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Where is he?

Where is he?

Is He in the luxurious cars and jewels?

Is He In the costly ornaments of deities?

Is H e in the multistory buildings of millionaires?

Is H e in the complicated customs and rituals?

Where is He?

H e is in the smiles of poor

He is the satisfied hearts of nobles

He is the hands busiest worker

He is in the sleeps of an innocent child

He is there

Where we are going?

What we are doing?

Which we are offering?

How we are praying?

What for we are praying?

We are going to man created temples

We are doing all against to our beloved God

We are offering all unwanted junks

We are praying for our own needs

Not to search Him in the outside

Search Him in your heart and

Pray Him in all lives

— SAKTHEEE2007, Mar 17, 2009

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Critiques

yenti

17 years 2 months ago

Sakkthee

This one is of your own God ,the flow is a little repetative in some of the words, and would be a lot better if the words became the task, where you throw out the He's and We's and structure it around your theme which is basically good, Yours with respect Ian.T PS:- I have been going through the lonely poems pages and your poetry cropped up several times so I have been reading them all and putting a comment on each one, so I think that you will have a lot of work to do LOL, no I am not picking on your work I just thought as I did one of them I may just as well do them all in one go ,Ian.T

S

17 years 2 months ago

THANKS

DEAR SIR THANKS FOR CORRECTION AND YOUR CORRECTIONS WILL MAKE ME AS A SUCCESSFUL POET THANK YOU SAKTHEEE2009

yenti

17 years 2 months ago

SAKTHEEE

You are a successful poet, it's only that, the way of thinking is tethered by the difference in culture base, I would love to read of your God and his wisdom or of the way you see things, they are precious in this world, and unique in their form, Yours Ian.T