The Whippoorwill

I love the vulnerability of this poem, double 't' in 'attract' only thing to change that i noticed but like DD am merely nitpicking!! :) a great read Moonman, i especially like, 'sad bachelor's song'. Top job. much love b x

far from home with a window open a lonely Motel and throught the screen in the humid night a Whippoorwill was calling You have captured this in poem Moonman and how it tears the fabric in the tears we withhold magnificent poem sir as always

I love how you were able to take a little bird, and relate to it. I'm sorry it was an unpleasant thing to relate to, but... I've always wondered how such an ugly little thing can make such a cool song. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"The truth is, it doesn't matter what you do. 'Til you gaze in that mirror with an eye that's true. And admit that what scares you is the me in you..." - Steve Earle

Sad and beautiful,really well written. you have much to offer Sincerely, Linda

Many is the evening I have listened to the Whippoorwill. always a mournful song. Lately there is a big old brown and whitish Owl in the tree across the street from me. He has scared me several times swooping down to grab a squirrel or something. I think you did a wonderful job relating the sadness and vulnerability of the Whippoorwill to the loneliness you feel. Great write Richard. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein

loved it moonman... wonderful

I love when evening time comes 'round, bright fades to dusk and the whippoorwill begins his song. So lovely, haunting..wistful. What a delightful creation and reflection you have wrought. Sometimes, straight foward, simply put..is truly magnificent. Loved your poem, Richard. Always Sincere, Tonya

Ohh, sweet moon thing, that is hard to read without falling into the personal concern for you, I know it isn't the point, but we seem to gather such empathy here don't we. I knew the bird was a symbol of your feeling before you even mention it in the end, well done, for painting such a moving sad tale for us... we'll all be sending you chocky next (better share em with me bud)... I don't know, maybe being a batch is not so bad, beats having your heart mooshed up to a pulp. If I had a red, I'd toast to it with you Richard... Perhaps we write better as batchellors (can I be a batchellor... & don't say I have to be a "spinster" or something hideous like that!!! Chuckle). Here's to sky bound batchellor poets with tons of heart & a good dose of humour eh!!!! Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."

Richard I really like your poem. The comparison is exciting. It is sad and heart warming.

make a poignant image indeed Richard and this poem is pretty much a song as well. Because of that i was perhaps expecting a slightly more rigid rhyme scheme than you have used in places. For example: As he is singing he is open prey you drop down to 5 syllables in both lines when i was expecting the normal 6 or perhaps 7, and that for me disrupted the lyrical flow slightly. With the last verse the second and last lines also halt the flow. With the last line i agree it could be to good effect in that it really emphasises "alone", but a more flowing version could be: Guess I am relating to (or with) a song of my own vulnerable and waiting like the bird, all alone. Just some thoughts you can take or leave. Loved the poem. All the best Keith

Beautiful .. im no expert but this is a awesome poem well done :)Jayne-Chloe

congrats on a deserved spotlight! I love the theme and the rhythm of this poem. One teensy thing though (Nitpicky is one of my middle names, as you may have noticed): "loneliness" has lost an "e" (l.7). Your friend, Nina Honesty Nitpicky etc.

goddamn amazing! Brilliance is earned as is respect, you have earned both.

A little slice of real poetry. Beautiful, lonely, sad. 5 stars man Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

poinant and honest...beautiful as always! you are truly one of my very favorite poets moonman... much love, <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ 'My prayer is a rapture in blue' - The Ink Spots 'My Prayer' 1939

That bird I do not know but its name is so -so-so? it is like a song and you have sung his song to me and made me both happy and sad at the same time, beautifully. Ann of Norway

Love this piece. Don't know how I missed it. Leonard

Congratulations on the spotlight Sincerely, Linda

makes a noise that sounds like its name, the poet writes about the song of this bird which reflects not only the state of loneliness of this bird, but his own and more so, most of us. Well done. T.

this is a great write and I enjoyed sitting in the window in my mind through your poem. I,ve listen to many whippoorwill and they do sound sad like your vulnerable state in this poem. a genius metaphor here. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

This is beautiful. I read it a few days ago and liked it then. Upon a reread I find it even more delightful. It portrays such vulnerability of both the bird and the narrator. 'As he is singing he is open prey although he is hidden the song gives him away' It's like we open ourselves up to so much pain just to express ourselves. Congratulations on the spotlight. Yours, Deelilah

Moon., This is a great write. Just enough details, and just enough space, to be an 'everybody' poem. wcw

You capture the song of aloneness in this poem as beautifully and heart-wrenchigly as the whippoorwill sings it. I always look forward to your melody even if I don't hear it right away. ;-) ~A "We have to try to get rid of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal." Paulo Coelho

that has not been stated. Congrats on the spotlight. In ink, Dabbler

not a thing i can add, except to say i didn't even notice the things that the nitpickers did. it was just so good that i didn't. congrats my friend, you surely deserve the spotlight! gee. keep on keeping on

Hey Moon, great write here. Remember the song ole Hank Williams Sr. sang? [oops giving my age away here] but haunting and your poem brought back some memories, my friend. Nice flow and I enjoyed it congrats on spotlight! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Liked the revisions Moon !! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Sad but Awesome! It was a bit strange for me to read a sad write from you ;) Congrats on spotlight, honestly it deserved it. Sincerely, Wafi

i didn't miss out on this one. this is heart-rendering, moonman. very few can write with this ease.

Keep in mind what happens to the unlucky whip who calls from one place too long. On the other hand, self-destruct's a part of our genes, a part that so demands obedience. Oh to be human's to be like the other critters ... in more ways than we can possibly imagine. I especially value your appreciation for things naturally nature. It duets so well with mine. Keep on keepin' on, I allus say. There's always at least one more (ad)venture waitin' around another blind corner for to ambush us unwaries. Yours, Chuck

Can see why this made the spotlight - we don't have whipoorwill's here, though more than our share our lonely people at the window. Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~

Hi Richard, This is the first poem I have read of yours, if your other poems are as good I'm in for a treat. You have empathy for the bird, but it drives home to you your own situation. It was an lovely poem, really enjoyed it. Mand

I sing BJ Tohmas's "I'm So Lonesome I could Cry" Whenever they have Kareokee at the bar. The crowd hated it the first few times but, now they ask me if I am going to sing if I don't sing it first. There is something about the call of the lonely even if they desire to remain that way Sinbad/Donnie PS it take a least three glasses of wine before I Can get up the nerve to sing and then there is no stopping me

My windows are open
s ummer breeze blowing through 
I can hear all the night things 
only adds to my mood..............................why do I feel so blue The Whippoorwill is singing
 to attract a mate
 his loneliness, his terror..............his longing 
that he won’t make the wait......how long must he wait As he is singing 
he is open prey 
and although he is hidden
 the request gives it away My windows are open............................in my mind the open window...why window are you open
 unsure what is wrong...........................makes me feel there's something wrong...reminds me something's wrong 
but I find myself crying.........................as I find myself crying
 to the sad bachelor’s song. Guess I am relating 
with a song of my own 
vulnerable and waiting
 and like the bird, alone. 'scuse i Moonman, I like this as you can imagine, very much, as I too listen to the birds and remark on which they re as we go for walks, today the nuthatch was creating a fuss, and several woodpeckers flew overhead shouting their songs. Your last verse is beautiful. This is a lovel idea and nicely done, I just had a few thoughts, hope you don't mind, you will have to forgive the late intrusion. Yours ann of Norway