Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Weight of the world, (Edited)

Ten feet tall and shoulder's a mile wide,
  strong as Atlas and an experienced guide.
The weight of the world within his hands,
  warily, but willing to make a needed stand.

 He carries his burden’s with a taunt, tight lip,
  not letting his massive feelings appear to slip.
Without anger or precious pride he does his job,
 praying and petitioning the heavenly ghost above.

 Who can a father turn to when he needs an answer,
  can anyone explain the emotions that can be stirred.
When a mother seeks solace, who can she ask,
  will the powers that be answer the confused task.

 Will the innocents involved understand the meaning,
  can we truly know his pain without being demeaning.
So I offer my patience, while he does what he must,
  so he can open his heart and find me worthy of trust.

 He need not worry what any others might say,
  no-one would ever dream of standing in his way.
And if I can help him in the tiniest bit I surely will,
  no matter the time or the depths of his worded spill.

 Julie

 3/12/09

 D. D.

— DawningDaytripper, Mar 14, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Robe valley, WA, USA

Favorite Poets: All of them, for differant reasons. Neopoet poets have influenced me the most over the last 2 plus years. Great teachers. Edgar Allen Poe, Dickens, way to many to list...

More from this author

Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

17 years 2 months ago

D.D.

Your private friend sounds intriguingly human, as we all are... loved your weight lifting message to your friend here Julie... well placed words for us all to be warmed by... I logged on this morning and saw you have a poem in the spotlight, and I haven't even read it... where have I been... must read it now... Richard
Rett

Rett

17 years 2 months ago

Julie, beautifully written

That person sounds ten feet high with shoulders like Atlas. *LOL* I am sure they are proud to be thought of that way. I would be. Fine write. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein
Rett

Rett

17 years 2 months ago

Julie

This edit job is very good and I like it a lot. A few small errors, mostly spell or grammar, but otherwise a fine write. Corrections are in parentheses below. *S* Ten feet tall and shoulder’s a mile wide, strong as Atlas and a (an) expirenced (experienced) guide. The weight of the world with-in (within) his hands, warily, but willing to make a needed stand. He carrys (carries) his burden’s with a taunt, tight lip, not letting his massive feelings appear to slip. Without anger or precious pride he does his job, praying and petitioning the heavenly ghost above. He need not worry what any other’s (others) might say, no-one would ever dream of standing in his way. And if I can help him in the tiniest bit I surely will, no matter the time or the depths of his worded spill. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein