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The Quest for Prosperity

Up from the ashes of primordial earth,

out of the dust dawned human kind,

what’s been discovered and thought to proceed,

all but swayed by another find.

Astute observations by of the mind of creation,

such marvels we humans are,

inspired to strive for the crowns of the master

beyond the reaches the farthest star. 

 

What can be said of the surreal dreamers

who envision the kingdoms to come,

from the palace of earth to Centauri,

to the beat of the proverbial drum.

Perhaps we can inhabit the universe,

be bred into the new theories of life,

commandeered by the quest for prosperity

long- lived through the eras of strife.

                

But how can we as mice so small

usurp pied pipers’ unreasons  to rhyme

all to the perils of our dead soldiers

left strewn through the farces of time?

For not even the stars live forever,

But the dreams of mankind carry on,

held hostage at the gates of eternity

which guard fast the dimensions beyond.


— The Poetic Knight, Mar 12, 2009

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A

Arrow

17 years 2 months ago

What will humans have to give up

for the hostage dreams to be released? Great ending. I thought your rhythm tripped at the last line of stanza 1 (pentameter where the other lines (2, 4, 6) are heptameter). Along the same line, I enjoyed the flow of stanza 2 more than stanzas 1 and 3 b/c it was almost consistently in pentameter but that may be personal preference. I thought the language use was good. Your word choices gave it the glorious, questing feel I assume you intended. You do need to edit, though. I enjoyed it.
TK

The Poetic Knight

17 years 2 months ago

Your comments

Thank you for the review and the reading of this poem. It is always nice to get a different point of view on things.Would you try a read at my poem, A Rhyme to Reason? will add yo my buddy list and look for your work. Sincerely, Mark Lee