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T
Tuttey
Mar 12, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Severed

  Severed

Annihilation absolute.
Standing on end.
Suppressed tears slip.

Ripped and torn.
Trembling heart quivers.
Ugly scorn arises.

Ripe and wet.
Surely now the pain will cease.
Incapacitated I weep. 
— Tuttey, Mar 12, 2009

About This Poem

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

17 years 2 months ago

Severed...

Hi Tuttey, I see by your profile you are no stranger to poetry or Neopoet... but this is my first read of your work, for me, while very descriptive, it seems to be leaving out the reader, not letting them experience at least some of the reason for the pain... and thereby engaging the reader to feel, and see... Richard
T

Tuttey

17 years 2 months ago

Richard,Thank you so much

Richard, Thank you so much for the feed back. I do not to put to much of the story into my work. This one could probably use a bit more to put the audience there. A lot of my writing uses the power of sugestion therefore I believe some people are puzzled by some of my work. Though it makes sense to me. Happy writing. T