Geezer

Mar 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

not lost, just waiting......

we sit here with our hearts hanging out,
waiting for someone to notice us.
we will be here waiting.....

it matters not, how long it takes.
we are with eternal hope,
that someone will drop by.

we have had our say,
but still could speak some more.
if someone will only " put their ears on".

waiting...... how long might it be
before i may speak again?

my companions babble amongst themselves.
i truly hear them not.

only i have ears for the footsteps of a tourist or two
looking for something out of ordinary

almost....i think that they may hear me call.
close, so close...
why do they not give me the attention i crave?

HEY!!!!!! here i am .... look at me....
don't you want to know what i think ?
ahhh... well, there will be others. i am sure....

hey you guys!
maybe if we collect a few more compadres,
we could band together and make them notice us!

yeah! right! we're just a bunch of words...
not me!!! i ain't!

you are right you,"ain't is not even a word.
is too! look it up in the dictionary.

what's the use? i quess you are right,
if we can't agree. we will just sit here waiting......

i will wait, i will...
i know! i will start looking for some new companions to join us,
and we will get ourselves noticed.

well, that's settled,
shhhhh! did i hear footsteps there?

— Geezer, Mar 11, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

Race_9togo

17 years 2 months ago

Geezer

I like this. I think that many of the lines need chopping up and rearranging though - it would make the rhythm much smoother, and give more impact to the meaning. Try taking out the commas, and where they were, starting a new line. For example "my companions babble amongst themselves, but, i truly hear not, for i only have ears for the footsteps of a tourist or two, looking for something out of the ordinary." "my companions babble amongst themselves but i truly hear (them) not for (only I) have ears for the footsteps of a tourist or two looking for something out of the ordinary." It would also emphasize the visual structure of the poem and this would reinforce its cadence. Your last word made me chuckle, for I constantly go back through my own work myself, afraid that I might have missed someone's comment. There is a definite vein of the need for validation in all of us, I think! And touching others, is that not the reason we write poetry? I think so. Nice write, my friend Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Geezer

17 years 2 months ago

rearranging

this was only my first attempt at just letting things flow,writing without looking back. and i was anxious to put it out there to see what katie, rae and some of the others that i met on the chat thought of it. but you are right, i think that it would indeed be o so much better with the changes that you suggest. it is sad to think that all this stuff that we write just lays there waiting for someone new to come along and give it new life through reading it. the only way i can be sure thatit does not die a total death but just suspended animation, is to see that someone has commented on it. i am going to go fix it right now. thanx for your comments, and i do use a lot of commas don't i? gee.

Morgana Tragic…

17 years 2 months ago

Hey Geezer, I read this but

Hey Geezer, I read this but did not get the chance to comment the first time I read it. Lol. It's a great poem, I love how it screams READ ME, I AM HERE!!!!! Never fear asking Sydney or I to read your stuff. Sometimes asking is the only way to get others to read your poems. I do agree with Jim, that some editing it does need, but after that I think it would be a beautiful, more smoother piece. Nice work! I'd like to see more from you! Peace and Love, my new friend Katie

Tonya

17 years 2 months ago

lol, ……if poems could

lol, ......if poems could but talk! But, wait, they do! This one caught my attention and i love it. It speaks volumes to us. Poets can be fickle and lazy! Reading and liking what we read, yet forgetting to comment. (At least i am guilty of that!) Your message is clear and well written... I like the humor of a bunch of poems grumbling amoungst themselves. The chargrined feeling of not having work read that we have poured our emotion into is very well portrayed. Very nice job Geezer. Always Sincere, Tonya

Nordic cloud

17 years 2 months ago

They will come

I can hear someone coming-and they will as you say. Its a labyrinth of a site here, I am not sure I have ever seen all the possibilities, all the poets in their lairs. How to find them? If they read something of mine I am inspired to read something of theirs, we could spend 48 hours a day on looking and reading, when then would we have time to write? You pur it so well here! Geezer ( I want to put Old Geezer as that is what goes together in English English! 'Scuse I) You are, on the other hand a young geezer aren't you, it is I who am the old geezer- or whatever the female of that name is? Yours Ann-old-g.

Geezer

17 years 2 months ago

geezer

not sure what the equivlant of female geezer is, and don't know if 60 is par for being old geezer,which is what i am, but think that you have young mind for sure. always glad to hear from you and pay close attention to what you have to say. i subscribe to national geographic and have seen what beautiful country you have, i think that i would like to visit some time, if i ever get a big windfall. you know, lottery or somesuch. gee.

Knuckles

17 years 2 months ago

Another job well done

I really like this one, the bantering at the end had me chuckling. Knucks

themoonman

17 years 2 months ago

Hey...

HEY... loved it...something about it just screams out lol.... enjoyed the read Richard

Ashes4now

16 years 11 months ago

intense

It's very intense and real. Like the part (my companions babble amongst themselves. i truly hear them not.) sounds like my friends and family. great poem. Ash D.M.

Geezer

16 years 11 months ago

Intense..

Thank you for the comments, I was just looking back on some of my older things tonight, and wondering if there were any new comments. I missed you by a few minutes! Thanks, it is one of my favorite older ones! Gee ~

unknown

16 years 9 months ago

does real poetry ryme

you see to my understaning this is what real poetry is i am incapable of such this is what i srive to do use words that dont ryme and make sense

orgami

16 years 9 months ago

I love the thoughts of ponder

I love narration and dialogue self mutterings like this I am so productive of these kinds of thoughts I so like this poem very much I gave it five because it shows the eternal struggle of man the want of recognition and desire to connect with others and yet the imposed sense of isolation without even much description of setting and the mood is immediate within seconds of the characters introduction which almost needs no formal introduction you have a sense of writing that is immediate Geezer In true Life I take half and hour to describe a coffee I may have had at Twiggs It drives my women here crazy I write so few words here because my old style of writing filled two pages for the same few paragraphs you see today Honest it was that bad just full of fluff like a stuffed prize from the fall fair now its pocket sized and personal that sounds rude almost anyway I enjoy your comments and poems very much and am glad I found this in my search this morning

Nordic cloud

16 years 9 months ago

What is REAL?

I will come back to comment later Ann of N.