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One Summers Eve (Me, Myself & I Series)

One Summers Eve  

 

On one balmy summers eve, as dusk was setting in,

Me, Myself and I shared a little happy grin.

From the sky above, the stars had nestled down,

They were twinkling like tiny sparks,

Upon a warm and dewy summers ground.

 

In awe, we stood amazed at the flickering little lights,

They flashed by us so quickly, and darted to such heights.

A Dizzy spot of brightness, alit upon our thumb!

All together we started running, in the action of only one,

With a child’s new found excitement, we felt the fun that was to come.

 

Me, being the bright one, chose a jar for our collection,

Soon we were moving in every which direction.

One by one we caught those amazing lit perfections,

Weaving in the bushes, skimming across the grass,

They were so very silent in their acrobatic tasks.

 

They were so very beautiful in their ziggied sort of flight,

I ran into a tree, to Myself’s hysterical delight,

He’s gonna feel it too, I’ll just wait and see,

He fell right along with both, I and Me of course, you see.

He’ll have the same big bruise upon exactly the same knee!

 

When our jar was finally filled with a number of the glowing little bugs,

We showed our prize to mommy and she gave us great big hugs.

She said that we could keep them, in our room that night,

Poke holes into the lid and screw it down real tight,

Said they could keep us company and double as our night-light.

 

So off to bed we went, after we had washed my feet,

Nice cool sheets to sleep upon, soft blinking lights to sleep.

Our little friends just seemed to know when off to dreams we slipped,

They dimmed their brightness down and softly glowed a bit,

Mother tip-toed in and loosened up the lid…..

 

Out into the night, good-night to our friends she softly bid,

She set our nightlights free, quiet laughter she softly hid,

Tomorrow night, again we’d fine, flying free and high,

Fun within our great big yard…. lots and lots of fun,

Catching fireflies into the night; Me, Myself, and I.

— Tonya, Mar 09, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

L

loveyu74848

17 years 3 months ago

so sweet and light…

so sweet and light... reminds me of how many nights i spent catching fireflies...
Tonya

Tonya

17 years 1 month ago

lol

us to Christy! Thanks sweetie, glad you liked the poem. missed your comment! sowwie. love you. Aunt Ton
A

Arrow

16 years 12 months ago

I hope I haven't gone on too much.

*Stanza 1: Watch your punctuation. On one balmy summer(')s eve, as dusk was setting in, Me, Myself and I shared a little happy grin. From the sky above, the stars had nestled down(.) They were twinkling like tiny sparks() - I'd eliminate "like" just to make the imagery and alliteration stronger. Upon a warm and dewy summer(')s ground. *In awe, we stood amazed at the flickering little lights, - You've got some redundancy with both "awe" and "amazed." *All together we started running, in the action of only one, - clever! *With a child’s new found excitement, we felt the fun that was to come. - I might take this out. The images used throughout this poem clearly convey innocent, childhood excitement so you don't need it. Show, don't tell, you know? *Stanza 3: Great! I thought the three end rhymes in a row made the lines move quickly, like children running along so it nicely supported the content. The images were strong. *He fell right along with both, I and Me of course, you see. - I felt a little beaten over the head with this line. I thought you made the same point more cleverly with the next line. *When our jar was finally filled with a number of the glowing little bugs, - Wow, this line is long! *Poke holes into the lid and screw it down real tight, - good use of children's (wrong) grammar, i.e., "real tight" Finally, I appreciated the ending with the release of the lightening bugs. Tonya, this was charming. I did this as a child and it brought me right back there. This would be great for children as it would make for easy illustration in addition to the good language use and concept of the imaginary friend. Also, I think it has enough nostalgia to keep a parent engaged. P.S. This may just be peculiar to me and not an issue at all for little ones but "Summer's Eve" has an unfortunate association with a hygiene product.
Tonya

Tonya

16 years 12 months ago

hahahahaha...

loved your last comment.. ya know, i never even thought of that! I was in my innocent childhood stage when i imagined that.. (they know nothing of womens hygine products!) and wow.. finally, some good input on how to brush this up into a much better format. Although, i am not a little boy..little girls like to chase lightning bugs to and it was one of my favorite pasttimes in the summer. I am still in awe of the beauty of an open field alight with hundreds of them blinking off and on. It just reminds me of a field of little faeries spreading their magic around. Most most appreciated Arrow. Thank you so much. I will have to work on your suggestions. Always, Tonya