DawningDaytripper

Mar 05, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Gems

Well, do you have anything to say
are you aware of the pain you caused?
Do you regret what you did each day
have you ever stoped and think to pause?

Can you know the total and final cost
honestly, can you think you did no harm
Will your kids understand that you were lost,
valuing only what you could shoot in your arm?

So I ask you, what would you have me tell them
that your parents love you......just not enough
How could you choose drugs over such gems
I just don't get why this choice was so tough?

I don't know what to say, but I know what I won't
one day they will ask when this is far and remote
I can't I tell them you knew, you obviously don't
so I will tell them the truth, and offer them hope.

That the future is bright, and not a contradiction
they are more then anyone else's prediction
Having the power to move past such addiction's
so that their promising future will know, no restrictions.

So no matter the past that they might recall
or their doubt that resembles a crumbling wall
I will be there to catch them, if they should fall
devoted to love and protect them, through it all.

Julie

D.D.

Rewrite, 3/17/09,4/23/09, 12/27/09

— DawningDaytripper, Mar 05, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Robe valley, WA, USA

Favorite Poets: All of them, for differant reasons. Neopoet poets have influenced me the most over the last 2 plus years. Great teachers. Edgar Allen Poe, Dickens, way to many to list...

Critiques

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

D.D.

sometimes our choices fall into our laps and we have no more control of that than we do the outcome, we just have to roll with it. Some people aren't meant to be parents and some are, just the way it is. You never know which you are until faced with the choices, glad you are there for those kids...every child needs someone who won't turn their back but sadly, there are many that never feel that kind of love... You are one hell-uv-a-gal... my hat's off to you and your husband... May your plate stay full and your troubles be few... Richard

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Double D.

Julie my friend, my blessings to you. Anyone can be a father or mother, but it takes a REAL man and woman to be a daddy and mama! You and your husband are a real man and woman and I hope those children know they have two gems! May God bless you all! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein

Geezer

17 years 3 months ago

serious questions

Boy! did that hit home. my wife and i are raising our grandson, who is her son's son. i myself, when very immature, didn't make enough of an effort to stay in my sons'lives. i am very fortunate to have as much contact and interaction with them as i do. i gotta admit that the guilt is part of what makes me try so hard with jason. geezer.

Ink Dragon

17 years 3 months ago

DD,

Your outrage is clearly conveyed in your words, and I must say that I feel the same. I am putting much energy and effort into the raising of my kids, and my heart just misses a beat everytime I see people neglect or even mistreat their children. You are already changing the world through taking in these kids! I am sending you much patience and courage for the task you have taken upon yourself. Yours, ~Nina

Nordic cloud

17 years 3 months ago

Well done you, both.

Your husband and yourself, for helping out and being good parents, having such makes a great difference in life. I liked the poem too, it is good. Here it all follows well and we fully understand its meaning - having just come from the other!!!. Drugs are the very devil himself, if one believed in such. I have already mentioned such things elsewhere. Strength to you from me too D D from Ann of Norway.

faerybeki

17 years 3 months ago

I really like the new title,

I really like the new title, the poem flows well and i was, like so many other moved by the content!! It is great to know there are good, brave and loving people in the world :) Keep up the good work DD!! much love b x

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

Julie...

I like the title change too and the last stanza... well done! Richard

NEW ERA

17 years 3 months ago

GEMS

I can relate very much to the pain that addiction causes. My last submission was on loss. I lost my husband to addiction and through it I lost who I was from being with him when he was on it because I really didn't know for two years that he was addicted, I was blind. The pain it causes everyone around them is so hard. I am a mom and so my son lost a father as well, but He's a great son and doing great, I've always tried my hardest to do what was right by him. They need a chance to be who they are. The poem is very revealing of your own pain and I hope you always find the strengh to persavere through. Love Cathy

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Double D

Congrats on spotlight. Well deserved! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein

Debra Bryant

17 years 3 months ago

Daytripper,

You have written very well about a painful subject. You and your husband are to be commended for stepping up to the plate and becoming the rock that these kids so badly need. Congratulations on the spotlight...well deserved. Sincerely~ Debbie

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

You would have made it anyway

Mine had run it's course and yours is damn good Julie. You deserve it unquestionably! And I'll fight anyone that says nay! *G* Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein

JoJo

17 years 3 months ago

can't pass this by

lot's of comments but I must ask you to do something. The mirror you look into everyday, look on the other side and you will see a reflection of an Angel. I didn't say you could walk on water but your wings get stronger everyday. don't know if you've seen my profile but I was (retired 2 yr ago), licensed by my state as a Chemical Dependency Counselor for over 25 yrs. Much of my poetry was inspired by the families I worked with from drug affected babies to an 86 yr. old. As you and other's know that type of life is no joke. But, I would pray to find people like you and your husband. I personaly thank you (I know you don't require it), but never the less, I thank you for being an angel shinning in the lives of those kid's. If you ever need to talk, via private message, I am here.

Janice Pearce

17 years 3 months ago

Gems

Julie, you expressed yourself so very well in this piece. May God bless you, your husband and these gems! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

JoJo

17 years 2 months ago

Julie you deserve a great day. Have one on me.

Humility is a rare virtue. That makes you a rare Gem in my book. I do like the title change and the last stanza. Great job!

Nordic cloud

17 years 2 months ago

Nina do you think?

That the question marks are needed here, it doesn't look so neat, I am not sure about this, the punctuation debate is a difficult one?? I feel that too much punctuation can spoil a poem, certainly the look of it. I appeal to Nina, as a specialist who knows the do's and don'ts of this aspect of poetry. Not wanting to pour oil on the waters of admiration, Ann

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Ann,

I think the questionmarks are in the right place (as the piece presents itself now, don´t know if we´re talking about the same version?). Julie, you definitely improved this piece. Both the new title and the new ending add to an already awesome piece. Unfortunately, there is no sixth star... Yours, ~Nina P.S. A little typo crept in, I think ("the the", stanza 4, line 4?).

Baz

17 years 2 months ago

Gems

I feel humble. Your poem is the kind of poem that I like, it is full of emotion and it tells a story. It made me cry and I am a 62 year old male.

Rett

17 years 2 months ago

New ending

Julie, My friend, this is really a fantastic write. I like the new ending a lot. It really hits a person between the eyes and ties their guts up in knots thinking about what happened, yet it also provides love and hope that is needed in a child's life that transcends all pain. Now, down to business. I have to agree with Ann on the questions marks in the first three stanzas. They detract from it. As she said, punctuation is a tricky subject, but I think one question mark at the end of each of the first three stanzas will be sufficient. Also, one small spelling nitpick. or the doudt (doubt) that resembles a cracking wall. Other than that, I give a full two thumbs up to it. Very well done my friend! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." "A Democracy can withstand anything but Democrats." Robert A. Heinlein

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 1 month ago

Julie,

I have four grown children who range in ages from 20 to 38yrs old, watching them growing up was my greatest headache of worry. Now my worries are over, because I hear them speaking and they sound just like me, for me that is the proof that they were listening. It sure as hell took a long time to see my reward, but I am thank full that they turned out good and upstanding. Lovers of life and family, that is where the reflection of my wife and I are seen, in their actions today. Great Job expressing your feelings. My favorite stanza: I don’t know what to say, but I know what I won’t one day they will ask when this is far and remote I can’t I tell them you knew, you obviously don’t So I will tell them the truth, and offer them hope. thanks, Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

piety

nothing like a gritty honest poem in this time of evaluation of all ideals and responsibilites for the new battered 2009 choices yes and YES WE CAN freaking awesome poem Julie Your Freind Orgami !!

phoenixflame

17 years 1 month ago

This is profound

My mother may be working hard to support me and my younger sister, she has been doing this since I was 2 or 3. I wonder sometimes if she felt like giving up. Dropping to the floor and screaming "I quit!". I can't begin to fathom her late nights and early mornings. Getting up at 5 or 6 in the morning, sometimes not even sleeping at night, to take care of me then when she married once more and made my little sister, doing that same cycle all over again. I wonder.. If she ever felt like grabbing that glass bottle and making her anger and regrets go away if only for a while. Like when I decided self-mutalation made me feel human. Did she get the same notation? Maybe not the same degree but still.. You're a mother, you raise your kiddos, did you ever feel like that? Like everything you know and love has come crashing down? I have felt possibly only a centimeter of that, my mom has felt the whole thing. The poem is worth more than just five stars! Phoenix.

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Julie

I joined the site around the 15th of March and just missed this one by weeks there is so much I would like to say right now ... but I shall hold it enough to say ... their loss is your ultimate gain ... love ya girl you speak truths that most people would like not to think about mountains of love(hug) Jayne x x