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Echoes and Stains

You took me there
then pushed me over
too scared to leap yourself
I fell on my own 
I'm left on my own
with lil blue eyes
and a heart full of echoes and stains

When you look at her face
I hope you remember
the mess that you left
and this house full of echoes and stains

You should never have said the things that you did
Never knocked on this door, if you really weren't sure
Do you know what you've done? Leaving me to live on
with these rooms full of echoes and stains.

Just like those towers you made in the lounge
you built us up just for knocking us down
And if she smiles at your picture, I'll try to remember
that she's too young and it's too soon for echoes and stains

How can it be that I love you and hate you?
How come you can't see what I see?
How is it you changed, in only a day?
Smashing my heart in only your way
Washing your hands
leaving me
with these echoes and stains

I let you go with love
clinging to my dignity
but,something's really eating me
What happened?
To the life we started
and the heart you had?
You know it's never too late
but it's just too soon
to paint over a moon full of echoes and stains

 

 

 

 

 

— faerybeki, Feb 28, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

CN

Craig Norris

17 years 3 months ago

never knocked on this door...

feel this has much to give, I'm a pruner and would keep working it I think. Everyone's different of course but I like those gems you come up with, never knocked on this door if you really weren't sure..those towers you built and, it's never too late but it's just too soon. Nice one. Craig
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years 3 months ago

Thankyou!

Cheers Craig for your read and comment. I'm inclined to agree with you that this poem probably still needs some tweaking, will endeavour to find time to sit down with it!! Thanks again, take care b x
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years 1 month ago

Thanks Craig, got round to

Thanks Craig, got round to it eventually, not sure is been quite tweaked enough yet, but definitely better than it was! much love b x
O

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

when I read your work I see longhand

that is written with deep consideration no one elses does this to me i would limit one or two "Echoes and Stains" but that would just be my preference some of the longer lines building up to a point could be freer with less words the words are okay throughout there is no wrong context just fewer would make it flow however I only comment thus because I dont really know you and your style as much having just begun to really read you however over all this is a beautiful poem that handles something potent from the heavy heart the question never set aside why the land of why's and they so have their power as does this poem It is a five star because of its meaning and its write for you and peice rings truths and describes emotion sharply You are writing well
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years 1 month ago

Thank you O. You see me and

Thank you O. You see me and my poetry so right, I've never comitted a poem directly to the screen, it's all longhand, some flow out and are neat and tidy but others, like this one, feature many crossings out and much scribbling :) I think I'd probably be in my element with some parchment, a pot of ink and a feather!! If you do read me further, and I'd be honoured if you did, you'll probably see that I flirt with different styles and forms quite a bit, there's an essence of me in all of it I guess. Thanks again O for taking time to comment and recognise :) much love b xx
O

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

Dearest Beki

just a visual knowing I could just sense its strength there is a product that connects to the computer that can scan written works to the screen or memory I saw this in the flyer ads I love to read all the juicy candy so delisiouly portayerd sorry for spelling errors watching the tube sitting in dark roast waiting ss jeremiah obrien Hero ships war as usual anyway your poetry flow is so beautiful and know it makes sense thank you Beki for your works and words Freind Orgami