Cloudthings

Feb 26, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The photograph & the flames

The photograph I took of you when we were still so filled with dreams and possibility

When we were swelled with sweetness ripe and dreamy fruit of sharing and contentment

When sated we would smile and laugh and know the heart of goodness

When you desired that in my eyes reflection you would be

All that you are not now

All that you destroyed

All that you denied so easily

It shattered me

That same photograph that now shows tumbling over and over between hers

As you frolic among words you wrote for me

You stroke each other playfully and flirt without a care

And seem to be cavorting there for everyone to see

Abandoning the things we shared

Abandoning the love you offered me

Abandoning the unaccustomed showering of love

For that?

And while the flames now lick my doorstep, it is no longer just for “those”
It is now us," these" ones I love so closely fighting in that fierce forced heat
homes and people poised at the whim of this bright avatar

and many hearts now offer generous and warm

A comfort for my heart… but I find none

The one voice that I crave would care… has not come

Mesmerised by other images and other playful words

And no doubt some story justifying why

You concocted that goodbye.

I must pretend again, again! that all is calm and fine
but the searing underneath my skin is equal to the burning line
and as the wind shifts fitfully
so shifts this dreadful ache in me
Nothing comes and nothing soothes and this must stay confined

The forest flames still ebb and flow

and by the evening skies that glow

I pack my chosen morsels for the saving of the day

Friends call to confirm the exodus so many of us choose

I wonder sadly just how much more I have to lose.

And pretend that it’s another day in a bushfire burdened town

I wish that fire could burn this dreadful longing down.

And in my heart a lake so big that I can hardly move

Uncried tears would surely have their day

If I took them to the forest in the middle of the night

With this wild wind matching only what’s inside

They would surely quell the flames with such a potent flow and full

And I could lay down like the husk I feel, all emptied of my grief

I pray for such relief

I thought it was the fires, but you are more the thief

— Cloudthings, Feb 26, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

LissaMine

17 years 3 months ago

Im sorry that you are hurting Anni

But what a wonderful write you are. You used your pain to write a beautiful piece. Congratulations Lissa I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.

Cloudthings

17 years 3 months ago

Ta Lissa, not quite sure how

Ta Lissa, not quite sure how to respond to this. I am feeling a lot better though, of course that kind of sadness takes a long time to get beyond, but I am so grateful to be beyond such dreadfully imobilising hurt from such a devastating & unexpected abandonment, I can't make sense of it still, but I guess I just have to give that up. Thanks for your concern & your effort to connect. I have been away for a while... the fires have become a severe danger now where I live, the Volunteer fighters have done a phenomenal job here saving homes & evacuating people (sadly the recent losses have provided HUGE lessons in managing for everyone, so we have been extremely fortunate to lose very little, though it is a very difficult time, I have not been able to work, the schools are closed & there are fires between here & where I work STILL) even a week in, there are embers dropping. But money & belongings are put well into perspective when life loss is looming as a major possibility. One realises that at this time it is the people you love & care for that really matter (I guess that's why I was so floored by that lack of contact & care during this time from the one person that meant close to the most to me, & excuses of having no time to make contact were so insulting when I was told as an aside how time was put into supporting someone else in their creative endeavours... very ouchy, but ultimately liberating). I see you embraced the quote I sent you. Moving forward past our challenges is always a good thing. May you create & receive love in the world that you do NOT lose, that would be nice eh? Well done getting the spotlight for your poem, I believe Craig helped you work on it, you must be proud. Whatever you do, enjoy Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Nordic cloud

17 years 3 months ago

Passionate and heartfelt this poem.

Anni, oh Anni, we feel for you and blow as hard as we can the winds that bring the rain, the winds that caress the sores, and the winds that make new laughter in the leaves of the trees, to softly shake a music that heals and soothes the dreadful hand of fate, the hand of abandon, of fear, of hate and hope that the aftermath will, like Spring, grow new and wonderful flowers of happiness for you and all your friends there in the furnaces of the Australian fires. It will, it will, I know it will. The fires of love will champion the fires of the land. Love from Ann in Norway's snow (ironic?)

Cloudthings

17 years 3 months ago

Sweet, wonderful Ann, from

Sweet, wonderful Ann, from your cool snowing shared space of peace & creativity... you do send these soothing winds... & I DO feel much better... I was able to be free'd from that awful aching recently (Thank goodness, I thought I'd be stuck in it for ages!)... It happened when things slipped from conversations that were so obviously incongruent, & other things so clearly showing up a total lack of consideration undeniable... it was easy to let it go & move on... That kind of betrayal is not even worthy of grief when it hits you so blatantly (I don't feel hateful though, never did, just terribly disapointed at the lack of integrity & the inherent cruelty & insensitivity), & somehow I am free, the contrast is divine, I feel I can see & breathe & sing & write again, & the best thing is, I no longer feel so numb regarding all the huge amount of love I am receiving. I've always felt grateful for how much I am loved by so many people, but at the moment things are magnified because lives could so easily be lost, so we are all closer to the preciousness & essential worth of each other... I have had soooo many offers of places to stay or any other assistance I might need. These fires are still burning so close, & tomorrow there is another warning of weather that is likely to spread flames dangerously close to town, the schools will be closed again for certain on Tuesday & maybe even tomorrow again... most people have evacuated & are staying away.. having learned from the recent fires .. it just isn't worth the danger to stay, I just got back today & it's like a ghost town here! I will start recording again tomorrow & have been writing lots of songs for the new CD, it's been a full on few days, I've had a few extremely talented people wanting to work with me musically as well, it's humbling & affirming. & dear Ann, thank you for walking with me through this, even when I was trying to disapear, you were, & always are, a wonderful comfort. I will never understand how people can do unnecessary hurtful things, but that's ok I don't need to know everything as long as I can do good things in the world to compensate, & be at least forgiving. The ironies are a little hard to face still, some things still feel like a slap in the face or a back stab, but it'll pass. Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.