Rett

Feb 18, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Virgin Sacrifice

Virgin Sacrifice

Two virgins sat there nervously
Waiting for their turn
The Priest and Priestess stood
Looking hard and stern

Both about to wet their pants
One white as a ghost
Neither virgin really knew
Which one was scared the most

The chanting grew louder
As each sacrifice was made
Staring at the other
For they were so afraid

The two virgins had no choice
It was their time to bleed
Weak kneed and trembling
They each began to read...

(first public poetry reading..3/6/97)

Special thanks to"tink" who helped me finally get it the way I wanted.

— Rett, Feb 18, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

LOL Thanks Amartya

If you have never done a poetry reading, the first time will scare the heck out of you. I was so nervous, I was shaking like a leaf. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Conect11

17 years 3 months ago

Hey Rett,

your premise is clever, and I can really relate, as I suspect all artists / poets / musicians can. The rhyme scheme works really well in the first two stanzas, melodic and musical. Unfortunately to my eyes it nose dives in the final two stanzas. In a longer poem this wouldn't be so noticable, switching up can sometimes be good in those instances. Here, because of the length of the poem it is jarring and almost a distraction. Really all that seems to be needed is an extra beat in line one of stanzas three and four. Of course, the fact that I have to use the bathroom may be a greater reason why I'm distracted... Can't hold it, gotta run! Mark W. Proverbs 27:6 "Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy."

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks mark

I think I got it fixed. I appreciate it. Glad you liked the premise. The eyes I could believe, now the nose dive...Well, maybe you should have went to the bathroom earlier? *G* Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Double D, thank you

I was petrified, but I made it! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Janice

Yes, it is suppoed to be funny. I am poking fun at myself for the way I felt and must have looked before I read. *LOL* Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Race_9togo

17 years 3 months ago

Rett

LMAO excellent, you captured the feeling precisely man! Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Jim

Only someone who has experienced it knows the truth! *L* Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

Tink

17 years 3 months ago

Rett

I'm glad I could help with this one. I love it! I like who you captured the fear and tension of reading out loud in front of people. I can't do it myself, I end up stumbling over the words. That was a good night in chat, I'll have to do that theme again! Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Tink

It sure helped this one. It is terrifying to read for the first time. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

JWwildcat2012

17 years 3 months ago

Well written................

Up until the final stanza.There was something about it,a missingness to it.....was it needing rewording...an additional stanza?....I dont know.Its probably just me.I liked that the words were sharp,and they linked to the flow of the write very well.A witty entry here. Your friend,in peace, Scott.

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Scott

It is hard to think of an ending to it as after I started reading everything was fine. That is, until the next time I had to get up and then I went through it all over again. *chuckle* I appreciate your observation, but I am stuck there. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

infinite_dwarf

17 years 3 months ago

Rett

Kudos for being able to get up in front of people and read your work - you've far more strength than I! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Three things that take forever to get here: birthday, Christmas, and the pizza delivery boy." - Garfield the Cat