Dismal Swamp

Young man, takes you to the dark side of Virginia, what I would call a quiet write, rings out in soft tones, as the moss clad trees muffle the sound, I supose if you scream it would be drowned in the silence, You Take care there ,Yours Ian.T

Ooh, I like this a lot Richard. Have great visions of a spooky Virginia tale. For some reason it also reminds me of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil... Yeah, that's Georgia, I know ; ) but still it does. Charmingly creepy! ~Stella

This poem took me on a wonderful visual journey. The second verse was my favourite, as it truly sparked my imagination. The vine hungry trees is both beautifully desciptive and yet controlled, it's the perfect wording. I wondered if maybe you looked to a dark place within yourself to pull some of those lines out. Loved this poem richard cheers, brent

Even the moon cannot get through to this eerie place, I have shivers down my spine and definitely won't jump, only with fright if you stir the murky waters suddenly. I love "hints the cemetary breeze", wheezing and creeping about in deathly paleness and black horror. Great stuff oh King Richard the man in the moon. Yours Ann.

Swamps can provide unending fodder for thought, speculation and tales. The gators, the snakes, the boojums, the myriad scary creatures hidden therein and the old swamp men. oooooooeeeeeoooooo. Great write Richard. Chillingly fun. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!

The Great Dismal swamp inspires another! I'm sure you remember The Red Ghost from last year?? I wrote it about the fires that were on the swamp. We didn't get the fires in VA, but we sure got the smoke! I tend to try to stay away from swamps, as there are some mighty big spiders that usually accompany it! Figures that NY is one big one.... *rolls eyes* Great write! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!" -"God is good, but never dance in a small boat."

Great write, Richard! You let folks feel the pull of the Swamp and the frear that accompanies going there! Kudos, my friend!

This was great, can tell you have been writing poems for a while.... reminds me of the swamps... Perfect words describe setting. As the logs come alive.... Patty

and especially so for those who fear snakes, perhaps an alligator or two, and of course those mocassins, and perhaps an escaped python or two ... or three ... in particular when they surreptitious touch under nighttime's black swamp waters. Some nitpickins: In my fixins I pulled out a few commas that serve to trip the eye. Heaven forbid a trip might send one cartwheelin' into water ... At night in Dismal Swamp they say the water is alive. It is rushing,[]pushing and speaking[] “to the brave who come inside[."] The British like to put periods and commas outside ending quotation marks; Americans put them inside (and I see your profile lists you as SC). Different rules apply for when it's question-mark punct or semicolon or colon or ... There is no light for you in there, even the moon won’t show its glare… and under the vine[-]hungry trees, hints the cemet[e]ry breeze[] “of Virginia’s ghostly air[."] I'm not sure'v your intention with "vine hungry." I'm guessin' at a fix with the inserted hyphen. Steer your boat down the middle, avoid those could-be stumps. Do not annoy the water… and whatever you do, ”don’t jump[."] Don’t end up in the water, once there you cannot hide… for you’ll feel a sudden tingle[] “as the darkness comes alive[."] Nitpickins aside, this masterful shortie bulges with just the right amount of chill and thrill. Just from the look of it, I'm assumin' 'twas a fun write. In other words, at the end you didn't need to say it was. It's certainly a fun read. Thanx, Chuck

this is eerily perfect, and all you had to do was observe. See, some people TRY to be creepy, you hit the nail on the head by just flavoring an everyday place. I'm glad I read this tonight, as I was typing some old poems into my computer today and came upon one that I wrote back in '98 when I lived in Massachussetts (sic) called "The Chilling Voice of Nature" about the woods around Sudbury. I'll upload it as a service to no one, lol! With this, you haunted me, Richard Spectrally, Mark W. Proverbs 27:6 "Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy."

than what has already been said, but it reminds me of a few deliciously terrifying nights on holiday when my brother (lacking a brother, having to make do with a semi-brave sister) took me fishing & being horrified by the sea-slug I hooked into our boat. Gross... Oh, & the crayfish (lobster) I once hooked & pulled up a rock when I was about 5, got such a fright & dropped it back in the ocean. My brother has never forgiven me, as he says it was the biggest one he's ever seen! Shame, he really would have liked a brother who didn't shriek & drop huge red crustacea... Needless to say, with all these memories popping up, I enjoyed your write! Jo

now we know that you can also pull off spooky. is there anything you can't do? I loved this piece, can find nothing that needs correcting. I can see it in my head: someone, reckless, young, jumping off the boat, laughing in the face of myths. suddenly a serious expression and a glance over the shoulder as the water darkens... dramatic music ;) you sure sparked my imagination with this one, Richard! your Proprietress

Yikes! Moon you gave me the chilly whillies~ loved it~ Nicely written! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

The best part of reading this poem was that it sounded like something someone would claim it was from a book,and then tell it around a fun campfire to scare their friends!I can see why you said that it was a fun write.It had the authentic, frightening feel that a poem of its type should have accompany it.There would have been no relevance as to how true it was.I want that to be a skill for me in my writing,because i want to be a novelist of the action/adventure genre.So its not just poetry i want to improve........ Keep writing.And drop by my page sometime. Your friend,in peace, Scott.

lol, since i have a bit of a phobia of the water anyways..I definitly have chills after reading that. You paint a most delicious picture of creepy, suspense and fright! I Was hanging onto the sides of the boat with both hands! (inside of course!) loved it! Tonya

Richard, very beautifully written. So many details, a lot of philosophy. Konstantin.

I can feel the dark warm night. I love 'don't annoy the water'. We went on an air boat in the Everglades once. Your could see the alligators--till dusk. Then just hoped the driver could avoid the 'could-be stumps'. I figured you already had enough response to this--but I just couldn't help myself. It was wonderful. Yours, Deelilah