The tower in the dusk

Maybe there is something in the echo of a lifeThat passes onto something farther onYou are too familiar – an honest echoLike a dream that hovers just beyond recallBut will not fall Vivisection lately, brutal slicing of the knifeAs if some god of vengeance took to laying onBut you are so like comfort – a quiet echoA companion such as phantom through the yearsThat shifted near & in the dusk – the tower looms & ominously hums with metal wireCapturing your prism with its stocky looming spireA softly fading radiance that faintly held desire& even in the cold with such distraction you inspireThe simmering of fire I waited silently –I loved the imagery –my gift sat patientlyBelatedly –inside of me –would you come for me? We watched the city lights get brighter as the sunset sifted downThere was a potency beyond all that where I could almost drown& out across the water that was mellow mild & tamedThere was space that held such promise that I knew could not be named

— Cloudthings, Feb 15, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

Nordic cloud

17 years 3 months ago

Deep meanings

Lie hidden in this, I am not sure that I am with-it completely and would like a little more explaining of the why...you wrote it and the what...its saying. Little cotton wool headed? Please. I like its haunting atmosphere where love, life, knife and wire hang together in a network of thoughts, it needs to be read and then reread to be appreciated I think. Lovely as always Anni...Ann

Cloudthings

17 years 3 months ago

Yes, it seems you are not alone

Yes, it seems you are not alone, I had a friend have the same kind of reaction.. It made me realise I am not used to actually having people read my poetry so I may not make them as accessable as I should... I guess that point is debatable, every one might have a iffering perspective on it... but it worth considering I think... writing songs is a different creature I think... it kind of doesn't matter if you are cryptic in songs, as long as there is something to tie you back to some element that people can connect with. SO a few things that may help... It was a visit to a suburban beach (not accustomed to city or suburbamn scenario's so it felt alien to start with hence the sense of heaviness) with a relatively new companion who was a bit of a photographer.. I enjoyed the process but it was somewhat surreal & I felt suspended in an odd displaced kind of way... It was also that odd sense of going somewhere with someone you know only a little about... there is an odd vigilence, a constant pondering (for me anyway)... The reference to the tower & the prism is related to camera's since he was taking photo's of the tower as the night fell, interesting work he did & the pic's feel like this poem does to me, a little illusive, a little brooding & a sweet edge of illumination. Not sure if that helps... Again it is after 3am here & I am sooo tired, but want to see what else is new here.. though I'm not sure my comments make sense at this hour! Cheer dearest Ann of Norway Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Nordic cloud

17 years 3 months ago

Yes songs can streeeetch the words

too and give them a different rhythm completely unlike the poetry read straight(!) also one doesn't, perhaps (perhaps one should!!) listen to the whole in the same sense, as the music mingles and the meanings sometimes come and go in lovely little surprises or soft floatings. You can get away with things, I mean. The poem is still a little complicated for me, but thank you for the explaining And what was the promise I wonder? Love Ann

Cloudthings

17 years 3 months ago

Promise is a possibility you create in your head/heart I think

Hah dear Ann, as it turned out the promise was the possibility I had created in my own head/heart with that one, the reality never came close to the space I created for it though. I wrote it a while ago & that connection never came to fruition which was a good thing... He took interesting photographs & played interesting music though. I tend to look for promise in many places, it means I have a good life, but it can create rosey pictures of gloomy places sometimes... Important for me to filter well.. as all of us I guess... I do love a lick of promse though! Anni May I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.