it's ok sissy

a bittersweet dream or reality realized? Coming to terms with loss is not an easy thing to do. It takes years for some and when the happy day arrives to rejoice in another, it doesn't always go as one would think. "Still she sits smiling in the sun" great alliteration and all the resonate sounds 's' throughout. Perhaps a few breaks between the separate thoughts would help the reader to pause instead of trudging forward in such a fast pace, considering you've not used punctuation, you've brought quite alot of images to digest in one swallow. Other than that, I don't see where I would change anything else. This is a very well penned piece, conveying inages and emotions that are indeed felt by the reader. Let the ink flow! blessings, Sandi

dreamlike, and melancholy. this is one of the best poems i've read in awhile and makes me think of what Apollinaire might have written on a sad day. close to my own awareness of events and the world! the poor child. GB

visage here and quite good. I agree with Kelsey. Leave as is because dreams do not have breaks. It was downright scary to me also. Good one. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!