.... and somehow soothe the state of burning

Dear Chuck, Good combing, thank you... I was naughty to splay that on the page with so little editing & in such a sleep deprived state. I just felt such an urgency to get it out there... then oddly as I wrote I wanted to say so little (as you say, so MUCH to say) I felt somehow the sacredness of the experience for "those" who really ARE in the midst of it should be honoured & so, in some ways, I skirted so much of what I REALLY wanted to express... It's a funny thing this writing biz... so many contradictions & the art is balancing the lot really... I love you guys already for your generosity & gentle encouragment, your wonderful clean honesty that helps us all hone our skills. The pleasure of writing is so often an undeniable drive in me, a creature almost within me, that demands I give it head to run & frollic & sometimes rage on paper through my pen... My hand that submits, it seems, to other forces, follows only where it is commanded... I used to think I should not interfere... & now I know, it's a beautiful thing to dance with other writers, opining & delivering perceptions of this creature I am but mild mannered host for... I will finish reading this little bundle of beautiful jewelled feedback & go and fix those rude oversights... Thank you. By the way, this IS a beautiful country to visit, & never fear the timing of your visit... Fire here is a constant companion in the land... I almost wrote "danger", but the fact is, it is only dangerous because human beings have settled themselves in the way of it's possible furnace (bit like those in your country who settle where there is possible seismic activity etc?)... sadly... tragically at the moment (not suggesting it is anyones own fault at all... just that it is an inevitable possibility in a country like this where heat & wind & terrain & flora meet so perfectly to create the perfect conditions for fires in the summer). There are numerous native trees here that will not open seed pods until they are heated fiercely such as a bush fire blaze would do, that's how life has evolved in this country... The aboriginals used to regularly create controlled bushfires to manage their land, enabling seeding & repropagation... & so they could return with less danger of being caught by fires without preparation. It is phenomenal to see how fecund the bush becomes quite quickly after a bush fire... Little tufts of exquisite green baby leaves sprouting up & down blackened trunks... It is a terrible time for this country (& the individuals who have lost so much), but as all life is transient, it is a natural phenomena, bushfires here. All of us who choose to live among the trees (& I always have.. in several of the places that are now reduced to ashes) it is a consideration every summer... Still, nobody wants it to come so fiercely their direction & the winds are fickle, a tiny gust of change can save one house in the midst of a row of devastation... & proper preparation has saved many, though some have gone despite ALL the preparation possible. Sorry, I really do need to get a hell of a lot more succinct in responding... forgive me. Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Ah dear lovely Ann. What a sweet & lovely response in it's own right. I have been constantly reminding myslef these few days, that the best I can do is to remain as much as possible outside the grief & drama of the tragedy. It is the best way to be of service... Today at work helping organise a concert benefit to raise money for "those" (so many, it IS hard not to get overwhelmed every time I think about it!) who have suffered so much loss. Your poem in response, dear one, rings SOOO true on every level - Fire is not a "bad" thing, we love it & need it, it has been so good to us... & yet in wild states & fierce conditions indeed "sudden bursts of drama" it has tragic consequences to "those" who happen to be in it's way... Oh dear Ann, the things I have seen & heard of families discovered in cars trying to flee, & worse... it is sooo hard to retain the tears & grieving... but it is necessary.. & here, we are all strengthened by eachother everywhere I go today. The courage & generosity is so abundant... My email is filled with messages regarding community benefits & fundraising activities, a major foodstore offering to donate the entire days profit (Coles for any Aussies reading this) countrywide on Friday (so save up your grocery needs until then folks), my work called to say some clients had cancelled - millionares who felt they must not spend money on themselves when such need was evident for "those" involved in tragic loss, so they were putting the time & money to that cause rather than a weekend of massage & therapy in a divine country retreat... In the opshop (secondhand) the simple comment "how are you" is met with grave compassion & commitment to be standing in integrity in every dealing in a our lives, "nobody has a right to be complaining today" was the response, then we acknowledged the wonder of human compassion, how the worst conditions show us up as such brilliant creatures of generosity & integrity... As I left a man came in asking if anyone knew where he could donate clothes & mattresses & goods for the apeal... several people had good ideas (everyone in the shop really)... Nobody is unmoved by this... Even lovely folk so far from this land who empathise & care... we know & thank you. Thank you for your wishes. At this point my closest loved ones are all safe & I am immensely grateful, but I do know there are areas where folk I love & know have perished or lost their houses & animals... We just need to be shining, courageous & do what we can to support "those" people... & as for me, more reason to be immensely grateful that OUR lovely bush here has not errupted this time... (it was our turn a couple of years ago, but on a smaller scale). Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Thanks Ian, I think we do know & I do feel it makes a difference for all of us, here or where you are... it makes humanity better I think, when we are moved to such true & deep compassion... & such wishes strengthen our resolve to make a difference to the ones who are REALLY in the thick of it. The weather has cooled but the wind is WILD outside my windows, tricky for bushfires, it is a constant reminder that there is still danger & risk for so many people... I think I have written so much above, I must stop here. Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Dear Arrow, your critiquing skills are beautifully wielded & I thank you for the honour... Yes, there is a part of me that felt "how dare I be the one to expose the anguish when I am NOT actually in the midst of it" (even though I have been in my life, especially as a child)... so it was important for me to put the emphasis on "those" who are/were. & thanks for the comment on the little "flood" of rhyming as you put it (I love the way you express yourself even in your critiques, a pleasure to read) I was not sure it would fit given I avoided rhyme in the rest of the work. But somehow I was compelled to slip it in there. I completely get what you refer to in the next section... I feel you are very much correct in everything you lay out here... it is clumsy to get back to such mundane expressions.. far more powerful to let the subtlety carry the sense of depth & surrealism, grief, concern & hopefully humility I wished to portray Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Sorry Richard I took too long writing a response to you so my response got tacked onto the end after another comment was added... not sure how that happened since it was a reply to your comment... Anyway thanks & see below x2 Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Hi Jim, thanks for your interest & gratitude for having the personal perspective, it is by no means meant to give you the "inside scoop"... not being there I could not, that was never my intention, though it does feel close especially since I have literally lived in some of the places that are wiped out by those fires. In truth I cannot bare to be listening to the broadcasts too often it is so emotionally gruelling, I try to get a few daily updates from the less dramatic sources & keep up to date with activities that make a difference, that's all... I don't feel it's up to me to be telling the gory details or painting the up close picture. Like the news in too harsh doses, it is a little confronting, & for me, not necessary for me to be moved into action in a constructive way, I find it a little too voyeuristic & morbid delving into the sad stories of those I don't really have a connection with... However, if it does directly touch my life I think that's different.. I hope it doesn't (& feel selfish for saying that) since that will mean someone I know & love will have been adversely affected... when the smoke clears (the communication lines are restricted currently for obvious reasons, phone & electricity lines in those areas are all destroyed) we are sure to find we have been closer than we think I suspect, it has been SUCH a wide reaching devastation, there are bound to be people I know affected.. until I know, I remain hopeful for everyone's wellbeing. Thank you also for you satisfaction with the writing, in the end that's the point... though perspective always seems to get morphed in tragic conditions I think, what's important prior is rarely what's important in the face of such loss. Anni I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Thanks Craig, I believe this is high praise from you since you know a considerable amount of fires yourself... Hope they never get that close to you, as you know these are probably the worst seen in Australia in settled areas. You know I felt a little uncomfortable about the attention from it, since I am just an observer at this stage (though quite active in trying to diseminate information & take action to address the difficulties in a practical way)... But this has been SUCH a good learning for me... that we all NEED to be able to access a means of somehow getting our desire to wish the suffering ones well &/or make a difference.. I am currently arranging a song I wrote for my choir (& the audience) to sing at the benefit we are having to raise money for the fire apeal on Sunday... I was asked to have it be a an emotive "bridge" if you like to bring the audience together & perhaps allow them a safe place to weep & support each other.. We have all been doing our share of weeping in solitary spaces, community is good. Anni May I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

No I don't think I'd want to put rules on what is "the place for this"... feel free... whatever comes up.. it's all a lovely sharing as far as I am concerned & I can see the relevance Ann, absolutely... In fact the fires prove this more than anything.. all things are so transient.. I am not sure of the source or if it is even a quote or something I made up around something, but I always think... what is yours - will stay with you... I am keenly aware of what really matters in life having had a a number of tradgedies that stripped me of people in my life I loved deeply.. & it isn't material things that's for sure.. it is always the intangible things, the connections we make, the memories & love & community... & it puts you in a place where the beauty & sacredness of nature, trees, feathers, junkyard gardens indeed are far more appreciated for what & how they are... free & transient, blessed by their own circumstances & best viewed & left for all to experience.. not owned & caged.. like the best of hearts with love.. The open bowl of love as a possibility is the most precious gift, we could never really contain it, only hope at best for a long standing mutual generosity of love shared openly & renewed moment to moment.. That's my ideal anyway! I hope to find it reflected to me someday. Still I have it in my wonderful community here & I feel blessed by it. Anni May I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.

Dear Mark, apologies... somehow I missed this comment, I don't know how... it has been a pretty full on time... after I wrote this I was really squirming because despite having memories of living in those places most effected, I was not at that time directly affected... A week later this turned around & my own town was very much in danger itself, with serious fires burning a few kilometres away, we were saved by two things... one being the sad & dreadful losses of the previous week had made EVERYONE more prepared especially the fire fighters & the people at risk, hardly anyone stayed, realising life was more precious than property & belongings, & on top of that there were more, & far better prepared fire fighters... They did a miraculous job & I am completely humbled by their efforts... all of us here have been exhausted, with 3 very serious rekindling instances in 2 weeks, the winds were full on & could have blown the fires here if they headed this way... they didn't & there was relatively little loss... no lives, I think only 1 house & lots of sheds & fields & forest... Pretty amazing huh So you can imagine how we all responded when it began to rain in the wee hours of the morning a few days ago how we all felt... I wept quietly listening to the rain & since we'd all been pretty hypervigilant had hardly slept, I lay listening until the birds woke & rejoiced in it so sweetly also, a happier ending than some had & I will never take that for granted. & thank you so much for your kind words, your concerns & your lovely heart, as well as your support of my writing... I think I could probably write it better, but I want to honour it how it came out in the moment of shock & grief for what others were experiencing. Cheers Make, so much good will & so many good hearts here aren't there. Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."

Hi again, heh, just wrote you eleswhere... we might have to become mutual groupies I think. (Like Ann & I... well, certainly I am hers... & we all share a kind of similar spontaneous responsive throwback into wordy swirling exploration... I LOVE it... I am sure there are others like that here, I am so glad I have found it, as I keep saying... I'm sure on some levels, Ann & her wordy wonderful flourishes, helped me stay (or return to) a state of more centred OKness... clumsy I know, but you know what I mean perhaps) I saw that same photo somewhere, really amazing, usually koala's might be less likely to do such a thing, though they are sleepy things during the day (maybe like you by the sounds of it, nocturnal thing you are). Once again I feel this is undeserved praise, but thank you for it, really it was just raw response... (seems I've done a lot of that lately... been a big month or 2). Yes, it was an incredible & devastating loss that first batch of fires, it shocked me, & as all sad & tragic thing do, it offered salvation when further fires broke out (including here) & people were far better prepared & aware & I think the whole state was warned by the emergency services via mobile text on the last high risk day, only a few days ago... Thank goodness it rained that night (well, early hours next morning) when the wind picked up & made it super dangerous again... & it has rained so mercifully since... Still, 200 people in one fire. None died here as a result of what we learned from that, lots of that was luck too. You offer such lovely wording, as ever, thank you. I feel the coolness of your world (suddenly it is cool here too now, but not so cold, bit of a shock really). I worry that we will all have to get a bit more used to these extreme conditions via temperatures. Poor world sap & dust storm withered, swept & shoved by us into the shapes that suit us Weary, perhaps (what is the equivelent of anthropomorphising?) Poor world... taxing reserves & pouring in toxins no wonder she bucks & sweats bleeds & vomits gunbitten rocketblasted stripped denuded & eroded Poor world I love her sweetly quietly sending my empathy & care stroking her dust with my feet cool & bare smiling & grateful she bathes me & feeds offers me water at least when I need beautiful earth why do they not heed the warnings & care for her? I wonder if "Sam" survived, many didn't? I drove out through the burnt forest near here, to Melbourne yesterday... ominous. & today I visited near the worst of the fires in the first wave, the community where I lived there has miraculously survived, just down the Rd from St Andrews & King Lake, such a beautiful area. (We were driving a friend's baby to sleep for his afternoon nap), was an amazing experience... not sure I can communicate it just now.. have to have my "not passionate, serious & sensible" head on to help my lad with his homework. Take care Orgami Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."