Confusion in the A.M.

you are showing your versatility with this one... great rhyming scheme and flow... yes, very well done! Richard

My dear Proprietress, This is so different from your previous work and I love it! It's so melodious and has great consistency. 'I call upon my clarity..' For all your confusion, this is an amazing write ; ) Be well sweet Kata ~Stella

the answer to your question (re: the rearranging of the stanzas) is NO! "the road is damp with cavity as you choose to devote to needles and to gravity to sing a single note" ? I don´t think so...But maybe the "chorus" in only two lines? Let´s see: "elevate me out of here with yellow wings I’ll fly confusion now is just a mere emotion that I’ll try" I feel it works for the second line, but not for the first, this is stronger as two lines. So: Don´t change it, please. Yours, ~Nina

Kata This is so different from your last work. This flows with a sad melody and rhyme, but yellow wings yes sombre I find Dream new dreams my friend lift youself beyond yellow. This does not suit you, But we all fall into places like this. But we are only to glad to be free of it. Sweet dreams my friend dream on. New colours I see Dream a rainbow dreams.

How illusive is our clarity...only momentarily are we illuminated and then fall again upon our doubt and confusion. Thank you for the raw emotion, so much churns inside. I enjoy your writing and will be a fan.

To answer your question, like some of mine I almost feel it should be continous, wasn't it written so? I too find that its always difficult to decide how to present the pattern of words created, and one understands that its easier for others to read separated but the how is not always so easy. The sun has given you your yellow wings, but yellow can also mean jealousy, and the end is somewhat hollow as you wake up, its strange and exciting. You do a delightful dance yet again with the rhythm of the words and echoes of the repetitions, each time I read it I create new meanings for myself, surely this is a good thing that carries the poem on into the future and forever; just as a painting that needs to be finished by the observer, it can always seem new at each glance. We have some pictures on our walls, some keep forever, others one gets tired of and swops. That is a criteria too. As aye Ann of Norway

my raincoat falls to charity the dark consists of tar I call upon my clarity from near and from afar you write with such ease. reminds me of a young laurie lee.

like the air of sulphur like nicotine windows or Hornets hot and striving for a fight I used to pass by Mining towns up here when I was younger Sudbury Inco Conniston Capreaol tall smoke stacks belching smoke and the rock hard landscape stripped of vegetation and earth burned by the years of minning the copper and nickle poison My father took me north with him when he worked the extra gang out of Capreol I'll never forget it and with Google Earth I can see the same routes we took the same blasphemied landscape still Yellow wings I can see them but still Hope to hang onto to

here you've handled so ably. (Other people here take note: Here lies a maven who models well her craft.) Thanx, Chuck

I read a plea from the heart to be elevated out of our state of deception and destruction. We wait, we pray, we dream, we write, we live, we breath and we wait for yellow wings to take us out of here, I know I do. Only in moments of clarity to I realize that I will not be lifted but by my own intent and determination and oh how easily do I fall. Thanks for this poem; I do not feel so alone.

Good work. Good imagery.

you will lose the feel and idiosyncrasy totally if you combine the lines and stanzas.

you have a natural lyricism that cannot be acquired.