Caged

Precisely put together, well-chosen phrasing, and superior content combine to make a fine poem, indeed!

Third to last line: believe or belief?? Seems belief would fit a little better. I liked your description of rust in the beginning of the poem. Nice writing, friend. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!" -"God is good, but never dance in a small boat."

Nice poem

Jess has beaten me to the "believe" line, so cool. Another good write in your strong, aggressive style. Admittedly I was picturing MMA when I was reading this, not sure if that was the intent, but readers take different things from different works. The whole piece takes on kind of a surreal kind of feeling; in a way it's detached, but not like the detached where I'd say "you need to attach something to this." No, I think this poem needs to stay detached, it works well this way. Perhaps a bit of cleanup editing could work, but this is by and large spot on. Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible

the believe , I think you may have meant belief here but I see others have mentioned this already We don't here from you that often but when we do it is a good write to be sure Chrys

I guess I missed the original, before now! So just going on what you have now, this is a picture I've seen, been to... felt and heard... even now, at times I feel caged, unable to release what is inside... strong vivid write my friend! good to see you here! Richard

"Caged"has a good descriptive rhythm to it.You captured the sense of being caged very well.Some writers actually use the confinement technique in their writes,and if i am not mistaken,Stephen King employed the same technique while writing some of his books.You used good wording here.Good job.

I like the imagery of "flakey layers of rust mixing with blood" and I think most of us live in a cage, usually of our own construction. Thanks for your comment on my poem "Sanctuary." I'm back now but I see that you are gone. I hope that it is only temporary and that all is well with you. Always, Cat