Sweet Little Lady Blue *revised*

I have difficulty with the scanning. That might just be me, though. I feel inconsistent triple meter in the first stanza. Is this the meter you intended? I ask only b/c it reminds me a little of a limerick and am not sure that's the effect you wanted. If you want triple meter, I offer these lines for consideration. There once was a maiden so comely and true She only would sleep where the roses grew blue In daylight, the keeper of this garden fair Would sneak round the paths like a wee honey bear I'm interested in what structure you envisioned. There is a strong likelihood I just might have missed it. How exciting to see you trying something new! I hope you're enjoying it (I am).

Since you are trying more structure for once i could not resist commenting. As Arrow says the content is charming but if you really want to structure it to effect the 2nd and 4th lines of each verse should rhyme too. Also you might like to consider using a reducing line length for the first 3 lines where the first line is 10 syllables the 2nd 8 and the third 6 since this creates a very strong flow to the rhythm, then the final 3 lines can be 10 syllables. So, for example in verse one: There once was a beauty so rare and true She could only be found sleeping Where the blue roses grew For her alone those roses were blooming While she, the keeper of a garden fair Lies sneaking like a little honey bear Just a suggestion of course there are lots of different structural permutations you could use. My best wishes Keith

T L B I love Blue Roses i have many of them. There be I so rare and true And for me my blue roses do bloom I sucomb to the sound of my own weeping Like a hummingbird I do fly over the rainbow I like the rainbow sometimes am so very very blue My Blue Roses do bud and to full bloom as they do always remind me of you. But you did leave and fly away to be with the angels in the sky over my blue rainbow do with you I do fly I love your poem and blue roses. Sorry it turned into another poem. Electricblue