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Hold Your Breath


One kid pulled a gun
in seething rage
and shot the other one
through startled face
holy shit
steer around the body
don't get blood
on my wheels

just hold your breath
and drive on

cops peering
hard-core paranoia
strobing lights
of checkpoint
hunting drunks
hands on weapons
flashlights pointed at suspicion
behind steamed windows
slow it down
but keep it moving
keep looking ahead

just hold your breath
and drive on

little sweetness
all dolled up
for dark and johns
tight curls strutting stuff
for sale
beside abandoned steel mill
don't slow down
at the corner
lock the goddam doors
fifteen'll get you twenty and
she's all of  twelve years old

just hold your breath
and drive on

That one used to
have a home and family
but now he's only got
a habit and scarred arms
selling shit to one and all
Keep the windows up
"No thanks man,
we don't want none!"

just hold your breath
and drive on

speed it up
don't stop here
at the light
that one's got a gun
and wants the car
so floor it
and fucking duck

just hold your breath
and drive on

keep going
don't look
don't slow
don't care
don't stop
don't fucking think
It'll be okay
it's not too close
to where we live
not yet

just hold your breath
and drive on


— Race_9togo, Jan 28, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Critiques

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks

"Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 4 months ago

Jim

Hold me breath? Are you kidding me? I'd be hyperventilating if I witnessed any of this stuff! Really good write, very dark. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

LOL

Glad you enjoyed it, Jess! Thank you Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

LOL

So true! Won't be able to see the sun, soon Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 4 months ago

Hold Your Breath

Had me on the edge of my computer chair, and I just scrolled on! awsome write here!! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

Thanbks Janice

Glad you like it so much Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
A

Arrow

17 years 4 months ago

Makes me feel guilty,

which I assume was the intent of the final stanza. I thought stanza 2 was very good. My only suggestion would be to consider lengthening some of the lines. The very short lines make it choppy in some places for me. This brings back memories of driving around some of the worst parts of DC.
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

Arrow

Thanks for your comments. Yes, it is a little choppy in places. I was trying to make it very abrupt and very hard, but I guess I over did it, maybe. Got to think about the changes first, though. feeling guilty, lol. Not my responsibility! lol you think DC is bad, try Chicago on a dark night. or better yet, Gary IN, any time of day! I live 2 blocks from the city limit. Rough town. Thanks again Arrow, always appreciated Respectfully Jim P.S. Love the goat. Or sheep! lol "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
deelilah

deelilah

17 years 4 months ago

I held my breath

The abruptness does lend to the hardness of the subject matter--not a favorite subject--probably not anyone's--at least not deep down. But it is getting closer to where we live all the time. I'm not too sure what to do except hold my breath and keep going. Deelilah
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

Arrow

Any better now? Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race