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a love note


a love note

across a mobbed-up
living room

at a too busy
house party

gabbled with slapdash
conversation

among strangers---
and sometimes friends---

you waved at me
and said something

I know not what
that I like

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Comments

A

Arrow

17 years 3 months ago

No suggestions

A couple of stanzas I really liked: gabbled with slapdash conversation (slapdash - reminds me of hearty, superficial, jovial backslapping) among strangers— and sometimes friends— ("sometimes friends" - reads nicely ambiguous (to me). Were you surrounded by strangers and friends? Or, by "sometimes friends" - sometimes they're friends and sometimes they act like strangers?) Good, good use of words.
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 3 months ago

Arrow:

See my comment below. Your profile image prompted the memory. Yours, Chuck
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 3 months ago

a love note

Chuck, I liked this because it was the interesting words you used that made the poem good. Now I can't get it out of my head~ Hmmmm ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
I

IKnowNoBox

17 years 3 months ago

Across a mobbed-up living room

a gathering most cozy. A casual gathering, perhaps with an open invitation to bring a friend, mutual, or otherwise. I find such gatherings catalyst such exchanged glances. In ink, Dabbler
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 3 months ago

It was early ...

the morning after just such a party venued at my house (then in Seattle) that I discovered Lancelot tethered in my small backyard eating my grass. His owners, total strangers to me but friends of someone(s) at the party, had slept in their camper out front. Lancelot, strange as it may seem to most, was a unicorn. Puzzled about the large projecting horn at the center of his forehead, at the moment believing it had to be fake, I approached him, grabbed the horn (something he of course didn't appreciate) and knew immediately it was the real thing. I went to work for the day. Never saw him again. However, years later I came across some pictures, copies of which I have stored away somewhere. And whenever I want to imagine magic in my life, his image comes to mind. He not only visited me in the night, he ate of my grass and suffered my coarse check of his one and only horn. For those who want to see a pic of him, just google "man made unicorns," click on the first listed, the lair2000, go to the second picture on the page ... And there he is. That's him. That's Lancelot, the very unicorn I found in my backyard. Yours, Chuck PS: I've had many strange things happen in my life, but prob'ly none stranger than the experience of talking to and touching a live---and feisty!---unicorn.
A

Arrow

17 years 3 months ago

Good grief!

I'm glad this triggered a magical memory and I can't say I don't like the circus but I do think we'd all be better off if we could appreciate the natural gifts of people/animals/things instead of trying to turn them into something "better". Goats already give lovely hair and milk/cheese. This reminds me of a poem I posted here some time ago and am going to repost now - My Pig won't Don her Pelisse. You sure are right about the fact that you never know what you'll find when you step out your door!
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

17 years 3 months ago

Subtle undercurrent of a deeper longing

A pleasure to read this, I felt, refreshing in simplicity & space, nothing pretentious or overbaring... & yet it contains an ever so subtle undercurrent of a deeper longing, unspoken, just implied so eloquently.. We have all experienced a version of this I expect. I am inspired to read more. & as for your unicorn story it sounds like perfect serendipity.. what a delightful & surreal experience.... These thing make for such a wonderfully fulfilling life I feel. Cheers Anni May I wish to walk gracefully..... so as not to spill water.
deelilah

deelilah

17 years 2 months ago

Hi Chuck

OK, I bit. I went and had a look at Lancelot. Was he really at you're party? About the poem-- 'gabbled with slapdash'terrific -- 'mobbed up', not bad either. FUN WORDS. Both your poem and the one Arrow wrote because of it are 'Alice in Wonderlandish' Fun. Yours, Deelilah
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 2 months ago

Lancelot was ...

taken to my backyard for tethering after dark ... unbeknownst to me at the time. So one can only imagine my surprise on encountering a real live unicorn eating of my back-of-the-house lawn grass early the next morning. No one had informed me of his presence. Don't remember even meeting the owners, although I'm sure they attended that particular party. To answer simply, yes, Lancelot was there, though during the time of a different party than the one referenced in my poem here. And yes, he was the very unicorn you saw pictured on the Internet. The experience was memorable ... and beyond priceless. Yours, Chuck