Roasted nuts

Roasting his nuts on the fire

Wasn’t quite what Dave had got planned

He had rolled down the blinds, pulled the curtains

Put on music, her favourite band

She turned up about seven thirty

Had their meal with dessert and some wine

Finished with cheese and some biscuits

Both of them getting on fine

From the table they moved to the sofa

From the sofa rolled onto the rug

In front of the roaring coal fire

Started to kiss and to hug

Soon, they both were quite naked

Doing what young lovers do

When a gust of wind down the chimney

Dislodged something there in the flue

A small piece of brick came a tumbling

Into the fire's glowing heart

A large red hot coal then flew upwards

And hit his most delicate part

Sad to say, that the evening was ruined

Daves libido had gone right off track

He sat on a chair in the kitchen

With his testicles on an ice pack

Now the moral of this story

And I’m sure you’ll say it’s true

If you’re going to make love by the fire

Get a sweep in to check out the flue