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There is a World ~ Tink's Happy Place (Adult)

There is a world

that reveals itself

When we touch.

 

The stress, worries

And unkindnesses

Of reality

Melt away in the

Heat of passion

Growing between

Each fingertip’s sweep

Of flesh.

 

My mind concentrates

On the quickening pace

Of your breathing,

Your heart beating

And your increasing

Groans of pleasure.

 

I match your urgency

With my own.

 

Touching is replaced

With kissing,

As our bodies tangle together

With soft whispers of love.

 

Our fingers intertwine

Into unbreakable fists,

Only ecstasy has a

Tighter hold.

 

This is a place of freedom,

Reckless abandonment of all,

No more restrictions,

And simple truth of selves.

You as only you,

Me as only me

Our souls exposed

As is our flesh.

 

We come together.

On multiple levels

As we arrive united

To a world known

Only to us.

         Written by Tink 1/25/09 3:27pm

— Tink, Jan 25, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Pennsylvania, USA

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Critiques

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poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

Deb

our bodies tangling together might I suggest our bodies tangle together ( still keeps it in the present tense) of reckless abandonment of restrictions Deb if it is reckless abandonment then wouldn't it be fair to say that there are NO restrictions hmm Iwas there at one time nice clear writing Chrys
T

Tink

17 years 4 months ago

Chrys,

Thank you for the suggestions. You are right. I changed it a little. It is fair to say reckless abandonment is no restrictions, in my head, as i see this world, reckless abandonment is one things, and still have restrictions on truly giving undiluted self into the sensuality are two different things. (if you can understand that one!) will continue to ponder how to put that into the proper wording... thanks for the read and comments. glad you like it. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

Tink

This is powerful, and vivid. I think "tangle" is a little hard, here, although it implies a certain eager chaos that I like. perhaps "mesh" or "meld"? But I don't know, it would change the implications and the meaning, I think. I like the way this progresses, with that almost inevitable quality of "we both know what's gonna happen!". I like that a lot. I do not like the word "enthusiasm". It seems too cold, too detached to me. "urgency"? "delight"? "eagerness"? "helplessness"? I also think that you have captured that special opening of self to ecstasy without holding anything back, and that its happening to both of you, together. I like this very much! Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 4 months ago

WoW!

No suggestions. Am quite in awe. Erotic, intimate yet sharing. A major achievement cheers, Jess
L

LissaMine

17 years 3 months ago

Another nice one... great job

Lissa I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.