Pondering the Greens

and she hides from herself away in dust piled corners in the day's shoveled mess in stacks of stolen pages she waits for her revelation refusing to learn, craving skill she knows there is a better way a better place to hide, perhaps...

— theladyblue, Jan 25, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Conect11

17 years 4 months ago

pondering...

you packed alot of emotion and intelligence into this little gem, and the whole poem takes on a very personal feel. I almost wonder if this isn't part of a larger work, as it seems to have a "middle of the poem" feel to it. If not, the "And" right at the begining threw me off since the poem was just beginning. Perhaps take a look at punctuation at your conveinance (sic)but all in all this is a nice work. Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible

theladyblue

17 years 4 months ago

mid thought...

rather than mid poem actually...i tend to think in this manner and so it is a common voice i use...ahhh and punctuation happens to be the bane of my existance! note the line *Refusing to learn, craving the skil*...not a fluke! lol thanks for the comment mark! <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ 'My prayer is a rapture in blue' - The Ink Spots 'My Prayer' 1939

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

Emarie

The And at the beginning ( although improper) feels like a continuation of an inner thought May I then suggest dropping the next and as the sentence can stand on it's own and not lose integrity The imagery is beautiful Hope you are well Chrys

theladyblue

17 years 4 months ago

the second and...

was something i added in the end...thanks for clearing it up for me... if i were proper, i would not be a poetess, i would be a queen... ;P <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ 'My prayer is a rapture in blue' - The Ink Spots 'My Prayer' 1939

Proprietress o…

17 years 4 months ago

showering you with stars...

I think the mid-thought voice is brilliant, I will have to read more of your pieces, Emarie. this poem is extroverted and introverted simultaneously, not an easy thing to do! 5/5. because of its language. because of its imagery. because of its emotion. looking forward to more, your Proprietress

theladyblue

17 years 4 months ago

Dearest Proprietress...

I do thank your for the celestial shower! it is an interesting thing to be introverted and extroverted simultaneously...my poetry is me...every piece is different and somehow they make up the portrait...yes it may be an unclear, lop-sided, and in places unstable mosaic...but it is me... i am looking forward to your opinions...i have read and studied your work yet i have no words to match their skill...so i will say this...thank you for the challenge and i shall be seeing you soon! <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ 'My prayer is a rapture in blue' - The Ink Spots 'My Prayer' 1939

Electric Blue

17 years 4 months ago

Pondering the greens

T L B I hide away in invisiblility as I weave myself among many pages awaiting for a revelation but for me there is no where to hide Great imagery woven with such skill. So much written between the lines here my friend. As I said I found myself hidden here a place I belong. Electricblue