Sinful Beauty

but "she would", I think, is fine the way it is. Pacing is good, I like it but it really doesn't make much sense to me. Which isn't a bad thing. I like the way you've written it, the words you used, I get a weird picture in my head, changing with each stanza. Kudos, for confusing me yet keeping me interested {[ It's not what people say about you, it's what they whisper - Errol Flynn ]}

I just love the way your poetry drips darkness, like blood, across the screen. I also think your theme is good, I hope I got it right. but I did stumble on your rhythm in a few places. for example, would you consider trying Eyes like a cat, life in a shell in the first stanza, fourth line or Her hair forbidden None on her head If Hell could sing She'd wake the dead ??? I feel it to be more melodious that way, but it's up to you! I'm looking forward to reading more of your pieces, we could use more shadows around here! your Proprietress

I agree with her here, and her changes, she got there before me. Lovely fast devilish poem I enjoyed it very much. look forward to more. Ann of Norway.

my sweet proprietress has hit the nail on the head with her suggestions. Well, she tends to do that. Your poem in its updated form is really great. Gothic greetings, ~Nina

welcome my friend I have found the darkside and tend to be there for sometime as it is becoming my home. But you read my poem Death which was not meant to be a poem but me pouring out my feelings but there is no one to here only my four walls. I like this poem. I am not used to rhyning poems but have done a few. If you get a chance to view some of my poems. You may like Dark Messenger and a few others my trip to the darkside Electricblue