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LD
leonard daranjo
Jan 21, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Time's Vessel - A Pictorial Depiction

steady pair of palmspure  constant constant  receives flow of time


 

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I

Ink Dragon

17 years 3 months ago

Leonard,

you paint a beautiful picture with only a few words. If you were aiming at a haiku, I reckon your second line is too short. (Haiku is 5-7-5 syllables, as far as I know.) I like it nevertheless, ~Nina
C

Conect11

17 years 3 months ago

I second Nina

just two more syllables needed in the second line. Still, it is engaging, and haiku is a wonderful art form. Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible
L

leonard daranjo

17 years 3 months ago

Thank you Nina and Mark

I too was under the impression that the Haiku had to conform strictly to the 5/7/5 format. However, I have read some of the greatest haiku on the internet which do not conform to this format. In fact, according to some of the greatest masters, one need not strictly adhere to the 5/7/5 format. From what I have noticed, the syllables can be less but should not exceed 5/7/5. Thanks once again. I deeply appreciate your reading and commenting. Leonard