Her-ra

is better than my genius. I am surly indeed! lol Seriously this is very good, not going to get into interpretation but at one point I was like "he's talking about the show Lost!" Then I realized I'm an idiot. *Deadpans* Your first three lines flow freaking fantastically. You switch the rhythm up a bit at line three, but this isn't a fault, it's a good change of pace that doesn't detract from the poem. At the very last line I almost wonder if you might be better served by replacing "she" with "and." I know that "she" has been your opener on each line, but I just think there's no closure there. You might want it that way, and that rocks the party that rocks the house, but I think you can neatly and tidily wrap this whole masterpiece up at the end there. Oh, and YES, it's FUN! Real fun, we do need more of that here :) Mischeviously, Mark W. I like Cal and his dog Napalm I like Ike and his itty-bitty A-bomb everybody got one, I want mine you can order it up on Channel Nine. ~From "Doctor Jeep" by The Sisters of Mercy

You know normally when a poem starts with the same word throughout... it takes away from it, but not this one... I thought this was written very well from beginning to end... I totally agree with Mark in that if you changed the last "she" to "and" it would close it out cleanly... up to you though... won't change how much I liked it one bit... enjoyed the read... Richard

I really liked the two lines with the tummytucking with frozen scalpels and spitting up new continents. Just found them to be very strange in concept, and I tried mightily to picture it. Someone went to bed on a full belly! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"

i get lots of images from this one. i like this, it has its own dark corners.