Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Sunrise

Sunrise (chat)

Unable to sleep she sits in the dark
Like a guardian angel
She watches her siblings sleep
In the shadows of the night

She walks in the twilight
Roaming every room in the house
Walking among the night ghouls
In the midnight hours

As an adventurous night comes to a close
With heavy eyes, she watches
The moon move pass her window
Falling asleep before the sunrise
 
— Barbara Writes, Jan 14, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

More from this author

Critiques

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 4 months ago

Jim

sorry for the delayed response. been having computer issues with submitting. been taken care of now. I appreciate the kind comment ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 4 months ago

Jim

thanks you for commenting i really appreciate it. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
T

Tink

17 years 4 months ago

I'm glad you posted this Barbara!

I wouldn't change a thing, other than "breaks the night apart" instead of "break". Other than that, I think it is well written. I am glad you had fun in chat the other night. I cannot wait to read what you come up with on the other titles! Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 4 months ago

Tink

thanks for the comment I appreciate your support. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Rett

Rett

17 years 4 months ago

Fine write Barbara

Enjoyed reading it. Other than the suggestion above I made one. I watched the moon move pass my window (pass=past) other than that one I think it was wonderful! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 4 months ago

Rett

thanks for the comment and suggestions I have done a rewrite. would like feedback on the rewrite ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Rett

Rett

17 years 4 months ago

Excellent re-write

Even better than before, still have the same error though. As an adventerous night comes to a close(adventurous) With heavy eyes, she watches The moon move pass her window(past) Falling asleep before the sunrise Wonderful job here Barbara. Stunning even! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 4 months ago

Rett

Thanks for your help on this. I appreciate the comments. I have made the change, still those misspelled words slip in on me*s*. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 4 months ago

Sunrise

Barbara, I enjoyed this one. Although short, it packed a punch! _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 4 months ago

Janice

Thanks for commenting. I am glad you enjoyed it. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 4 months ago

Ann

Thanks I really appreciate the comment. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara