A Gray Sky, A Lost Sun

A gray sky, a lost sun
I stopped the car short because I needed to walk; the blood in my feet has begun to pool
I guess there is medicine for that now but I haven’t taken the time to ask
The snow is firm, crunching under my feet
Thank god I brought my cane, or else I wouldn’t have been able to make it
My knees aren’t the way they used to be
But I made it, so what do you want to talk about?
 
I have had a busy week actually; it was our son’s 30th wedding anniversary
Remember his wedding? It was gorgeous
Beautiful flowers, and colors and everything was just great
Any ways I took them out for dinner, and stopped by to see the grandchildren
The one looks just like you at that age, with the hair and all
The other takes after his mother 

Today, I went to church, and I thought I would stop by
I know it has been a while, but it’s just hard to do this as much as I used to
And with the weather and all, I am sorry; I should have our son bring me out more
But lately, I don’t know, I just haven’t felt like leaving the house
It’s dark and cold, and the dog barely does anything any more, she just sits around
Sometimes when the boys are over, they will play fetch but she gives up after a few turns

I brought you flowers
And a candle, which probably won’t stay lit but I might as well try
They are your favorite, red roses, just like our when I proposed

Its getting harder
Everything is, waking up, going to sleep, eating, walking, talking, and even thinking
I don’t know how to handle this
I know it has been over a year but still it kills me inside
My heart won’t stop calling your name, and I don’t think it ever will
We lived sixty years of our lives together
Everyday, except for when you were over seas,
But even then I sent you a letter every day, even if I had nothing to say
I stare at your picture every day, well three of them
From all different times of your life
Its not that I can’t remember your face it’s just, I need to see you…

Your voice haunts my ears; I can still hear you calling for help at night
But I can’t help you
And I see that same look on your face at night, lost and confused, and dying
But I can’t help you
And I can still feel your warmth at night when I lay awake
But it turns to ice when I realize you aren’t there
 
It’s hard to live
At times I feel like I am just waiting to die
It sounds sad but it is true, what else do I have to do here?
I have found love, had a wonderful family, and lived my days
What else do I need?
Not fame
Not fortune
Not new love or other women
Not a book to read or music to listen to
Or a painting to paint or a poem to write
I only need you
And I would wait until forever to see you again

The sun will be down soon, I should get going
I will be back next week though, if I can
I love you, goodbye