Does my bum look big in this

“Does my bum look big in this”

Now, be careful what you say

Just a single wrong word

Could ruin a lovely day

“No, my dear it’s lovely

Your looking pretty trim

I don’t know how you do it

You always look so slim”

I think I got away with it

That’s put her at her ease,

She’s looking in the mirror now

Don’t look too closely, please!

Too late, she’s checking out her rear

Her bottom she’ll inspect

And if she isn’t happy

I’ll get it in the neck

“I like this dress, I’ll take it”

“Thank god” for that, I say

Now that shopping’s over

It’ll be a smashing day