Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Naked Truth

 "NAKED TRUTH"  

 

Put on your lace sleeves

Trousers black and stride 

Out of the room like that

The very scene of shame 

And doubt that lace could win

Her feelings black

Silk stockinged legs 

Red ribboned hair

She always stopped 

You with a stare

Of dame disdain and flare

And left you there 

So bare.

 


— Nordic cloud, Jan 08, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Oslo and Flatdal, Norway., NOR

Favorite Poets: Too daunting this.

More from this author

Critiques

yenti

yenti

17 years 4 months ago

Ann

This just needed a bit more reading as at first it is unclear as to what is going on, but if read a few times it is better, so that means it must need something to bring it out, There are two people there and one of them is not seen, maybe because he is bare. Yours, Ian.T
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

17 years 4 months ago

You are right

Ian, I didn't give it so much thought and it swung out onto the paper in front of me as if it was already written there. I will work on it, as its rhythm and idea deserves better cover!!!! Perhaps if the title had been something like That Dame out there, or naming her presence before it started rolling then one would see her too. What is the 'little' lady in the background of your happy photograph? It doesn't look like a Botero; then there's a fox or horse prancing above, or am I being nosey? Very respectfully dressed Ann of Norway.
yenti

yenti

17 years 4 months ago

Background

It is Budda sitting there and above is a bronze of one of the North American Indian chiefs, my wife has had them for a long time now there are three of them, Yours Ian.T
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

17 years 4 months ago

In the loo

Thank you for explaining about the background, apologies to them from me. I took my photo of myself in the loo mirror, not so romantic. But Venus of Willendorf, 2 Nubian wooden carved figures, feathers, bones and all, a Mayan painted pottery articulated doll, a brass Chinese dragon, an enro-type Pu Tai, a Tunisian puppet, a rubbish-rescued cigar-smoking soft doll that speaks, a 3ft. high plaster sculpture of a woman, painted rust coloured hair, eyes and lips, a Stafforshire Scottish couple, a poster of a Greek goddess, a saint in glowing butterfly wings(grandmother's), a wooden put-together Dodo, a tiny Sardinian bronze and an Egyptian plaster head and turquoise figure, all could have been personages in the background in this one room of ours! not to mention the bits of wood and stones, one of the twigs looks just like a Greek female, I am an insatiable collector.We cannot show photographs here so I cannot show you. Yours Ann
Y

youarehere

17 years 4 months ago

Drama, drama, drama!

I love it! This is absolutley fun and flirty and deviously heart-breakingly feminine. If she was trying to discourage her pursuer, she is likely to get the opposite repsonse...at least she would from me. But I'm not convinced she's actually trying to discourage him. I hope he has the backbone to grab a tiger by the tail. I will await Chapter 2! In my reading of your poem...which I did out loud to myself, just because it's such a wonderfully langauged and lively poem that plays off the tongue...I kept inserting the word "back" before the word "black." I wonder if that's a word addition that would add to the poem...? I thoroughly enjoy this poem. Thanks for the write. -Michael