A Pocket Full of Lies

My pal, Larry was a liar.
A vary accomplished sort of liar, indeed,
and we all called him, Larry A.

Oh! We thought of calling him, "Larry the Liar"...
but, that would've tipped his proverbial hand, I'm sure.
So, he merely remained known to us as, Larry A.
The "A." stood for accomplished,
that is, until that certain weekend.

On Friday, two of our friends invited us to parties,
both on the same Sunday night.
One was a friend's birthday party...and the other, was a keg party.

Larry A. said, "Yes" to both...and promised to be there.
Come Sunday night,Larry A. felt more like drinking
so, off we were to a party of keg proportions.
Larry A. soon achieved the hammer award for the night,
because that's exactly what he was.

When confronted by the birthday boy, the next day...
Larry A. merely reached into his pocket for one of his specialty lies.
A specialty lie was the "top shelf" of all lies.

He began with how much he sincerely had wanted to attend the party,
but that, while on his way there, his vehicle had exploded!
You see, Larry A. believed that a truly excellent lie
had to involve his life being placed in peril.
The birthday boy then began caring for his safety, rather than his attendance.

Unfortunately for Larry A., he was rather hungover on Monday...
the very day he was to appear in court.
Larry A. ended up going to court on Tuesday.

He came to believe in his birthday party lie so much,
he decided to use it again, instead of a new one.
Luckily, the judge bought the story of extreme danger,
living peril, and Larry A.'s exploding car...
hook, line, and sinker!

He was lucky, but yet another unfortunate turn of events transpired.
On Tuesday, Larry A. was to begin his new position as a supervisor at the plant,
and of course, he had not made it; so he convinced his boss using the exact same lie as before.

In he went on Wednesday, feeling greatly relieved...and extremely confident;
that is, up until "fate" through a monkey wrench, his way.
Icy roads, another vehicle, and a pedestrian soon came into play,
and an accident soon ensued.
Not soon later, a patrolman responded to the "fender bender".

This is where irony hit the proverbial fan, for Larry A.
Turns out, the patrolman was the judge's brother,
the car that Larry A. hit was his new boss, and the pedestrian was Sunday's past birthday boy...

and there stood Larry A., right next to his completely intact, exploding car!
He was caught and coming completely undone,
for he had used his most excellent lie for everyone...
and it was at this moment, that we all dropped the "A." from Larry A.,
and started calling him just plain, "Larry the Liar".

Needless to say, Larry lost his supervising job at the plant,
the Sunday night birthday boy, as a friend;
and he's still doing six months for committing perjury, in court.

As for the subject of lying, I do not condone this futile action;
for, if one lie is told then, certainly another lie must follow...
and one is bound to be caught, because ones work is never finished.
I believe that for one to be an accomplished liar, one must be able to lie successfully to ones self;
and then, to lie convincingly one must utilize the entire pocket full of lies!