Wet Paint

And, to be honest, the only thing I have to add at this point is a title suggestions and a re-working of the lines to insert a different cadence and, of course since I cannot resist, a modification of one (1)line. ------------------------ A Symphony of Distress All my thoughts bleed together, Like wet paint, on a masterpiece. All my dreams fade to black Like a fire [that's consumed] its last coal ------------------------ Title-wise - I didn't feel "wet Paint" did he poem justice. The line replacing "burning" is a logical construct issue for me. If the fire is burning, it's still got a glow of a sort. If it's consumed the fuel, it gives the impressions of loss and darkness which, i believe, you wanted to convey. But, on the whole, a good write and some great imagery. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

When, I think wet and bleed in referance to paint, water colors come to mind because this is a short and to the point poem. Stronger imagaes are needed to convey the imagery, try not to lead with Like, (as) replaces like nicely sometimes, or reword your thought,eg. Wet like a masterpiece's first running, when you lead with like to often it sound like a "valley girl talking" you know As the fire sufficates it's last coals, or As wet with paints from the masterpeices first showning, a masterpeice wetted by new paint or colors short coince poems are hard but, impact nicely when they hit the readers ear or their minds eye nice try give it another go Donnie/Sinbad