Leave The Bones If You will

this is an exceptionally strong title, I wish it would have shown up as part of the poem itself! would you consider weaving it in there? respectfully Kata

was that in there before? you have found a beautiful expression, dear Barbara! I don't know if it was the second read or if it was the changes but now your poem has left a much deeper impression. congratulations on this wonderful write and on one of my favorite titles ever. :-) I am always looking forward to your next piece... thank you, Kata

4th stanza what happened here you lost the rhyme and meter here or is it me good writing all the same Chrys

This has the force and heart and sorrow and hope and poetry of a spiritual...there's a wonderful feeling of a call and response between the first and second "couplets" of each stanza. The poem transcends a womans or a child's plea for the abuse to stop. Your language and phrasing is soulful. Chrys mentioned the wavering rhyme and meter in the 4th stanza. I don't think you have a formal structure of rhyme or meter going here, but the what you have going works for me...although I agree with Chrys, the 4th stanza may need to reflect and echo the rest of the poem somehow in rhyme and/or meter. Blessings, Michael

Ever wandered a small tiny little boat being toppled in the sea and this boy, this poor little fella crying help but inside, but he is trying to control and indeed he is and you saw him and burst out, 'ey mother univerce, what the fuck, leave the young lad alone' Everything always comes to the force of something and when one is found easly shaken then the taking force takes place, taking advantage, taking due weakness or not, but if you're not weak surely the boat would fly with you--you've to claim inclined on the other force against the one taking advantage. well, i'm full of a lot, don't know if you'll get it, but this got to be the truth. i liked your poem it's very sad, it's very true-very structured. resepctfully paparazii