A Lesson In Direction

my eldest son
on winter's eve
gazing up
at cresent moon
reflected in the stars

I pointed
"That way's North,
a straight line from
the Great Bear's tail"
he laughed
"I don't need
to know that dad:
I've got GPS!"

I said nothing,
just held out my hand,
and when he put
his phone in it
I removed the battery pack,
handed it back
and said
"Ok...NOW tell me where you are..."

he sure did
learn his constellations quick.

— Race_9togo, Jan 06, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Critiques

rosemary_again

17 years 5 months ago

Delightful

I love the message. Title's perfect. My suggestions on pacing/rhythm? As follows: My eldest son on winter’s eve, gazing up at crescent moon reflected in the stars. I pointed. “That way’s North – a straight line from the Great Bear’s tail.” He laughed. “I don’t need that, Dad. I’ve got GPS!” I said nothing, just held out my hand. He put the phone in it. I removed the battery and said, “Okay, NOW tell me where you are.” He learned his constellations.

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Thank you

For your suggestion Jim "An armed populace is the last defense against tyrannical government": Race

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Yes Rosemary

First stanza's a lot better. last is tighter too, but I left the last line longer, I think it rhymes better. Thanks for you expertise, its much appreciated. Sincerely, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Jo Latimer

17 years 5 months ago