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On the Table

Ashes of smoke,
filled the crystal cup.
A little salt,
to curb the tastes.
You can read from,
 a book of painless poetry.
You can read from,
a book how to write a story.
Jot down each letter,
in your little black noter.
A roll of paper towels,
can't come crashing down.
A dictionary won't,
stop each wave or each sound.
The ringing of a cell,
can't catch my ear,
if I'm engulfed in a vial,
of sweet liquid.

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Quillsvein1

17 years 4 months ago

you

have a real talent for imagery and sound--the two components that basically make up what poetry is--and this does indeed captivate. "Ashes of smoke, filled the crystal cup/A little salt/to curb the tastes." Neat! The only thing I see you have to work on are two aspects: first, the punctuation: second the accessibility for the reader. As another fine poet here has told me, we surrender our interpretation to the reader right away, so we better let a little light in. All in all though this is very promising. Great job! GB